He has a girlfriend but wants me... What do I do? ?
I met and quickly became friends with a guy through work and we began hanging out a lot. Ever since we've known each other, he's told me how unhappy he is with his girlfriend and how he feels stuck. Well recently, he had a party at his house and his girlfriend kissed me. Then he, me, and his girlfriend were drunkenly fooling around. There was no sex and everything that happened was consensual. Ever since that night, the sexual tension between him and I has been outrageous. He has kissed me since and tried to initiate sex with me. I know he plans on breaking up with her in the near future (basically as soon as he can find a place he can afford). But even knowing this, I'm afraid of her ending up hurt. I've told him that I won't sleep with him unless he's single or i get her permission directly. And I'm 99% sure the latter won't happen. Its getting more difficult though since we carpool and work together. Basically we see each other everyday so we have a hard time avoiding one another. He's very persistent and I'm having a harder time resisting as Time goes on.
We've agreed that it would be a no strings attached things if it ever happend. As neither of us want commitment and feel like we would be a horrible couple but great Friends with benefits.
So this is a bit of a confession but I also want advice. If anyone else has been in this situation, I'd love some input. I'd also like to know what to say to him to get him to back off at least a little, for both of our sakes.
- JimLv 58 months agoFavourite answer
Stick to your guns and do not sleep with him until he leaves his gf, otherwise I can see him staying with her and using you for sex.
- FoofaLv 78 months ago
As long as you're clear that you'd only be a rebound relationship I guess this is okay. Although even casual flings with coworkers usually results in a very strained and awkward workplace. One of you will likely end up having to go find a different job, but maybe he's worth that.
- Blue SkyLv 78 months ago
Think about it. If he was unhappy with his girlfriend, then why doesn't he just break up? He's only saying that to make you feel sorry for him and give in too his desires. Besides, getting involved with a coworker often ends up turning into a disaster.
- Alan HLv 78 months ago
He just wants a new sex partner
Deal with that drinking or he may get his wish sooner rather than later
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- 8 months ago
if he is willing to cheat on his gf with you, he will most likely cheat n you with another girl. I recommend telling him you are not interested
- Ace ShortyLv 78 months ago
If she kissed you and that didn't turn your stomach I would say get it on with both of them, that way she won't get hurt, at least not right away.
- Coach SimonLv 78 months ago
Sex might be fun obviously, as are drink and drugs no doubt, but outside of a strong and well established relationship it can turn out to be disastrous. Not only can pregnancy and STDs result, but sexual intercourse can often be emotionally bonding (especially if regular or frequent), and when the strong friendship, mutual values and interests etc. are not in place this can prove emotionally confusing. Just read some of the questions here, or watch some of the daytime t.v. shows with very unhappy people who have had sex too soon and/or with the wrong person. It can also cost a girl her self respect and the respect of others (including future boyfriends).
- FekefufuLv 78 months ago
Yeah yeah, no strings attached, whatever you say. Here's the crux of it, he is still with his girlfriend. The question is do you want a man or a little child who is too scared to break up with current girlfriend.
- 8 months ago
Hmm talk to him