matt asked in Family & RelationshipsWeddings · 2 months ago

Is there anything “wrong” with a groom not giving a speech at the wedding?

I am getting married early next year. My fiancé and I have planned the speeches as follows: 

Her father to give one

My father

Her maid of honour

She

We asked both our fathers and they said that they were happy and willing to give one, ditto her maid of honour. My fiancé is much more of an extrovert than I, and as such she feels more comfortable at doing things like speeches. 

However, most of my family and some friends have said that it is weird and even wrong that I am not giving a speech, and my best man for that matter also not giving one. I have two sisters, I am the only boy of three siblings. They have both been criticising me for this, yet they themselves did not give one when they married; their husbands both did. I have noted their hypocrisy on the matter but they keep saying that “men should, it’s the right thing to do, the woman doesn’t have to”, which I find sexist to both sexes.

What do you all think? Is it okay for a groom (and best man) to not give a speech? Is it “wrong” if he does not? Any help and tips would be greatly appreciated.

20 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    I suppose if you don't want to you certainly don't have to but it would be nice to at least give a toast. You don't have to be outgoing...your family and friends who Love you will be there and they all want to hear from you.

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  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    Your misuse of the masculine "fiancé" (as opposed to "fiancee") tempts one to chide that since you're both men it shouldn't matter who speaks ;-) But ultimately the wedding couple decides who speaks and who doesn't.

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  • Raja
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    It is unusual and is against the rules about what is polite and correct behavior. Guest at the Wedding might think that there is something wrong somewhere.

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  • 2 months ago

    Just do it the easy way.. for your speech just play the song.. " ANOTHER ONE BITES THE DUST" and drop it.

    It will make people laugh but who the heck cares..

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  • 2 months ago

    What culture, country, etc. are you in?  What are the expectations of that culture?  As others have noted, in the U.S. is it very rare for either the bride or groom to speak -- and quite honestly NO ONE is interested in any speech.  The fewer and shorter the better.  If you come from a culture where there is an expectation for your to speak at your own wedding, then you really have to discuss this with your fiancé and your family.  

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  • 2 months ago

    I agree with everyone else except for one minor detail.  Your spelling indicates you are not in the US.    For people here, this is unheard of and everyone will be dead of boredom by the time the food arrives.   But if it's different where you are, ask around, but not your siblings.  Ask friends who have gotten married, or others in a position to know.   If you are in the US and don't know how to spell honor ( 😂 ), none of this should be happening unless it's at the rehearsal dinner.

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  • Kelly
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    You're overthinking this.

    IMO that is too many speeches, your guests will get bored with them.  Since most speeches are done during dinner with that many their food will also be getting cold.  

    Most weddings the only speeches that are given is by the MOH and best man.  Maybe at some point the couple together give a thank you.

    It's not even really a speech, it's a toast and even by the MOH and best man is optional, they don't really have to give one.

    Your typical speech/toast generally gives a cliff notes version of toasters relationship with the bride or groom and briefly mentions the other half of the couple.  I went to a wedding a year ago that the best man gave this long winded speech of a toast and mostly talked about himself and the groom, mentioned the bride in like the last 5-10 seconds tops.

    Where are you actually located?  In the US we don't spell it "honour".

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  • .
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    Never heard of a groom giving one at all.

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  • Linda
    Lv 6
    2 months ago

    My husband did not give a speech at my wedding and I did not give a speech either. In fact, it never entered my head or my husband for that matter. It's your wedding. If you don't want to give a speech then you shouldn't have to and nobody should try to make you.

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  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    Speeches can be long or short.  You can get up, thank everyone for being there to celebrate your new wife and your's marriage and hope everyone has a great time and sit back down.

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