My husband, and his family are pressuring me to have kids right now.?
I'm 24, and I got married 6 months ago. My husband keeps saying that I'm supposed to be pregnant right now and that we should go to the doctor to see what's wrong with me. I'm secretly taking birth control. His mom and sister called me asking if I'm pregnant. I'm starting to feel depressed because I'm not ready to have children. I talked to him but he said that this is unacceptable and he got very mad. I've only been married for 6 months. I want to settle and be ready to have children first. I'm not ready and they're all pressuring me and saying that something is wrong with me cause I can't get pregnant after 6 months. My husband keeps telling me that I'm supposed to be pregnant by now. I'm feeling so depressed and I'm starting to lose love for him. I regret marrying him. Is he in the right? Am I supposed to want kids after marriage right away? I want to wait a year or two but they won't stop nagging me.
I talked to him so many times but he keeps saying it's unacceptable. He doesn't want to listen...
- tonyLv 79 months agoFavourite answer
Give his a-s an ultimatum tell him you want couples therapy before a baby . You're not a wife to him, you're a baby factory.You do not want him holding a child over your head! 20's is still young and leaves you plenty of time to have babies; has he tried to explain his rush?do not have a baby if you aren't ready, i repeat, DO NOT have a baby if you are not ready. you will resent him and even possibly your child(who wouldn't deserve it).
- NativeLv 58 months ago
NEVER, EVER, SEVERELY CHANGE YOUR ENTIRE LIFE BECAUSE SOMEONE ELSE WANTS YOU TO. NEVER. TELL THESE PEOPLE TO BUTT OUT!!! And, I'm sorry, but your husband is just as bad as they are. Let him get mad while you find a place to live and get out of there!
- FoofaLv 78 months ago
You apparently didn't discuss this with your husband before marriage and that's usually a recipe for disaster. Secretly taking the pill is a coward's way out. You need to sit hubby down and explain that it's bad enough you two got married so young, it could be a tragedy to compound that with children before you're even sure this marriage is going to "stick". As for the in-laws and friends, it's really none of their business. But it IS the business of your spouse.
- Ace ShortyLv 79 months ago
Didn't you talk about having kids before you got married? This is something that should have been discussed then. Are you both Americans, it sounds like he may be of a different culture. Do you work outside of the home? 24 is a pretty good age to start having children, the longer you wait the harder it will get on you, a mother needs a lot of energy to keep up with small children.
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- 9 months ago
If you are not ready, do not let anyone influence your decision. Like others have said, a child is a huge commitment, and your husband should NOT be pushing that, nor his family. Please do not have a child if you aren't ready because it could result in depression for you or the kid, if not properly cared for- which would fall into the category of not being ready for children.
- 9 months ago
Lady, if you don't want to have kids right now or ever, do not open your legs. It's that simple. Your husband cannot (legally) make you lay down and create children with him, and you don't answer to his family. And by the way, your first mistake was getting married in the first place.
- geetarman56Lv 79 months ago
This is a problem that should never have happened. When you were just engaged or even before, it should have been discussed and agreed on as to how long it would be before you would start seeking having children. You can tell them all the time just is not right yet either financially or psychologically to you to try yet.
- choko_canyonLv 79 months ago
Explain why you're posting this rant anonymously and I'll consider that maybe you're not a troll and deserve an answer. Otherwise, forget it.
- PatriciaLv 79 months ago
Oh please i don't believe this is true. And if it is, you've married a psycho and his family is very intrusive.
- Anonymous9 months ago
"Is he in the right?" He is entitled to his opinion.
"Am I supposed to want kids after marriage right away?" You are also entitled to your opinion.
...and since those are the only two questions you asked, I'll be on my way.