Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsWeddings · 8 months ago

My best friend asked me to be part of her wedding. But both families seem to hate me...?

So long ago I use to date my best friend's now fiance . It was a mutual break up between me and the guy (at first it was a heated argument that ended it but we tried again for a little bit but ultimately went over our relationship and felt it was time for it to end) . And we have remained friends. I even set my best friend up with him because I felt they were super compatible.

Well they are going to be getting married, and my best friend asked me to be one of her bridesmaids. I was thrilled to hear the news.But according to her it seems as though her mother hates me because of my past relationship with the guy. And his family seems to hate me even though it was a mutual decision and both of us were way happier for it. And then the friends I made through that guy apparently hate me now too? Should I  or should I not go? I want to celebrate their marriage and I am so happy for them, but even though my best friend wants me to be there, I don't want to risk making her special day like filled with a toxic tension. 

7 Answers

  • g
    Lv 7
    8 months ago
    Favourite answer

    Idea: Talk to your friend about it, see how she feels. Obvs, she's okay with it since she asked you to be a bridesmaid. That's as far as that discussion should go. What others think or feel about it really isn't your stuff.

  • Anonymous
    7 months ago

    Go but stay prepared for whatever comes your way.

  • 8 months ago

    Your best friend has asked you to stand up with her on her wedding day.

    If you want to - do it.

    The rest of the family can surely suck it up - you're not marrying the guy, or trying to sabotage the wedding.

  • Tj
    Lv 7
    8 months ago

    Decile the offer. go to the church and leave. Why be someplace where you are only wanted by the bride?

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  • 8 months ago

    If the families aren’t saying anything to you directly, then ignore it and move forward. They don’t have to like you. And it’s not your fault if you’ve never done anything to personally offend them yet they choose to take offense to you. Not your problem. Stop obsessing over it and move on.

    If they ARE saying nasty things to you, then the engaged couple needs to tell them to knock it off. If they won’t, then rethink your friendship with people who allow others to treat you like crap.

  • 8 months ago

    Ok, here's what I don't get.  You call her your best friend, yet it doesn't sound like you've talked this through with her?   Your 2nd paragraph was mostly guesswork about who hates you!  I can see why this is making you twitch, but I don't get why you and she haven't figured this out on your own.  Everybody here can say go and have fun, but that doesn't help you much if you don't want most of the guests creating drama about you. 

    About 9 years after I graduated, my college roomie got married and asked me to be her MOH.  The catch was, my ex was the best man, and our breakup was so spectacular it made the local news, lol (college kids being college kids).  We talked it through and I realized I had to get over myself.   It went fine.   I'm not saying the same applies here, but it sounds like you need to determine whether you and she are the only people there who don't hate you.  I wouldn't want to be part of that, either.

  • Anonymous
    8 months ago

    Do what you and the bride wants but yes, there will be jokes and side comments about how the maid of honor (joke there) broke the bridegroom in for the bride years ago.

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