So I found out I'm pregnant at 34, my partner who is 44 does not want any kids because he has 3 already and I don't have any..what to do?

I've known this guy for 12 years and we have a casual relationship, I've had an abortion already at an early age and do not wish to go through that again. When I first told him I was pregnant he denied it was his, and then a couple weeks later he called me and wanted me to have an abortion, I don't want that. He keeps telling me that I will struggle with the baby even though my mother is willing to help as she is so excited that it's her first grandchild and he still doesn't care. He continues to call and pressure me to have an abortion and at 4 months I refused to even think about it. The last call he made to me, he said he was tired of being nice and that he does not want A BABY FROM ME! He threatened to blow up my car and to harm me any my unborn child as I leave for work and that it was a promise. Now I'm scared and don't know what to do. Any advice please?

22 Answers

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  • Ann
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    Break up with the loser, move in with your mother and raise your baby.  What you do after the baby is born is hit the father with an order of child support.  A DNA test will prove he's the father.  He has to support the child until it is 18.

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  • 2 months ago

    sis have your kid do not listen to this wack man 

    plus babies are cute 

    leave that d*ck

    call the police on him ASAP 

    and that's on premarital sex

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  • 2 months ago

    Keep the baby leave him!

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  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    First of all - understand that having this baby is 100% YOUR CHOICE no matter what he thinks or wants.

    Second - make a police report and get a restraining order against him.  Of course, this won't completely eliminate all risk, but if things start happening around your home, your vehicle, or to you - the police will at least have suspect and some history of the situation.  The really sad thing is that the police can't do anything until he actually does something.

    Third - it sounds like the main issue this man has is not wanting to pay child support to you for this child.  Talk with your family and make a tough choice on this one.  Know that you would be entitled to collect child support from him as the father - but also know that considering his attitude and his threats that it would never be easy and you might never feel safe.  So - TALK TO A LAWYER.  You have two options.  You start the paper work to be ready to go after child support from this guy.  OR - you draw up legal documents that say you will never claim child support from him.  If he is presented with legal documents that say you will never pursue him for child support and all you want in return is for him to give up all parental rights to the child and cut off all contact with you and the child - then you should be safe because he would no longer feel threatened by the existence of this baby.

    If he gives up all parental rights and you find a better man in the future, then that man could adopt this child without going through any other paperwork to get "permission" from the biological father.  It would already be done.

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  • 2 months ago

    Well, now that you know your casual sex partner is a horrible person who is willing to murder you or your child to avoid child support oh, you should have nothing to do with him ever again. He has shown his true colors and he will never be part of your rainbow.

    I would contact him and tell him that you've had a doctor's appointment and received a new due date, which pretty much convinced you that he is not the baby daddy. But, because he has threatened your life and that of your baby's life, tell him you want nothing to do with him ever again. This way you will be safe from him and his threats. When you tell him this, tell him through text messaging in hopes that anything he says can and will be used against him in the court of law.

    Don't go anywhere where you think you will bump into him and proceed with your pregnancy and delivery and have your baby. After the baby is born consult the court to demand a paternity test and if he is the baby daddy then he gets to pay child support.

    You are a grown woman in your 30s. If your mother had you when she was 20 your mother is nearing her own retirement so please don't depend on her to help you raise your baby at this is your responsibility, not hers.

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  • 2 months ago

    Notify the authorities. With proof! SO that way if anything were to happen to you, he'd be the first person they'd go to. (you'll be fine though :) ) Next, you are a grown woman. At the age of 34 you should be well equipped to raise a child on your own. If you don't want to go through an abortion again, then don't! But be completely aware and content with the fact that the child's biological father may not well honestly should not be allowed to be present. 

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  • Cammie
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    Make a police report .Get a restraining order. Save all texts and other contacts.Make extra copoies for the court. If you plan on having and keeping this fetus, you will have to go to court to get $$$$ for the baby. This is not rude. It is the proper way to take care of situation like this.

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  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    File a police report and get a restraining order on him.

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  • 2 months ago

    Not his choice end of story.

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  • 2 months ago

    First and foremost, you don't want to harm yourself or your baby. If your BF continues to have this attitude, i'd seriously think about whether he's really a good choice for you. From what it sounds like, he's a very irresponsible individual and, if he's told you it might not be his, I'd say he's lacking respect for you as well. It sounds like he could be a firecracker waiting to go off. I'd suggest you leave him, file a police report about his threats and obtain a restraining order. Good luck in your future.

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