Annisa asked in HealthMental Health · 3 weeks ago

Why am I suffering from anxiety 4 years after my ex died?

I was with a guy for 11 years and I was with him since I was 16. We have two kids together. While I was pregnant with my second child his father passed away. He fell into depression and I was suffering from post natal depression when she was a baby. They are now 10 and 15. He became an alcoholic. We broke up in 2011. I still helped him in the background since I was scared of being a single parent and that I still cared about him and wanted him to get better. He died in 2015 because he committed suicide. He saw me with another man and he saw his kids having a good time with him since he wasn't a really good father since he became an alcoholic. My world fell apart and I suffer from anxiety for two years. Two years after, I was able to function properly but then a few months ago, I had a vivid dream about him and my anxiety came back, all the reminders and memories of him came back. I cried a few times since it came out of nowhere and I just don't know why. For two years I was OK but since the dream, my anxiety came back. I'm seeing a counselor and taking medication but I'm just sick of feeling so empty without him. The hardest part is that my heart is saying don't let him go but my head is saying I need to let him go. I just don't know where to turn. I imagine him with another woman, it gives me negative thoughts and overthinking. I know it's just in my head. When I think about all the memories and reminders we had together it makes me feel good.

Update:

I shouldn't have to suffer since he put me through so much pain.

1 Answer

Relevance
  • 3 weeks ago

    Ultimately, you are suffering because you choose to suffer by choosing to fantasize about the past.    When you start living in the present life will become much easier.  Police your thoughts and stamp out daydreaming of the past. 

Still have questions? Get answers by asking now.