Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 4 weeks ago

Am I losing my mind? Taking all constructive criticism...?

So I’m pregnant with my second child, he’ll be born in another month. I now have a 8 month old. Their dad moved here a few months before our first child was born. I got us an apartment and we lived together for a few months but he left because he complained about his job and we always argued. He’s now been gone for about 7 months and hasn’t helped me with our first son at all, 

really. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t have hate in my heart towards him I’m still angry that I’m living back at home with my mom because I couldn’t pay my bills alone due to me falling asleep on the clock after I had my son. I made some big mistakes these past two years. I just can’t understand why my mother is still keeping in contact with their father I feel that he doesn’t really love our kids because he doesn’t know how to because he’s always been on his own. He’s even sent her a picture of his new shoes he bought for himself and said he’d buy our son something when he has a chance because he’s not making any sales at his door to door job. My mother and I keep arguing because she continues to talk to him she even told him to focus on food and shelter and not to worry about our son. Why is my mom doing this? I just don’t understand I feel like she is not loyal to me.

Update:

I feel that me not getting much sleep at night and doing everything on my own is driving me insane I wish their dad would just go away it’s not like he’s helping. He’s running from child support he just keeping in contact so my mom can see what he posts on his social media.

6 Answers

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  • 4 weeks ago
    Favorite Answer

    i dont think youre losing your mind, being sleep deprived can have an unhealthy effect in many aspects of life but i dont believe you should think too much about it. this is a hard situation to be in, in terms of your mum being disloyal, i think she just became attached to him and wants to make sure hes doing ok as he doesnt have anyone else, she doesnt mean to hurt you she just doesnt want to leave him alone again. he is being very irresponsible but thats just the type of people youre dealing with in life, i guess you just have to except it and move on. Life will get easier. Youre strong and independent and dont need a deadbeat to help you out in life, you can survive on your own 

  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    4 weeks ago

    maybe you should talk to your mom about all this

  • Anonymous
    4 weeks ago

    You don’t feel she isn’t loyal to you. 

    You think she is. Tell her it’s over between you and him, if it’s over. She’ll be on damage control until you do that.

    Food and shelter is of primary concern. That’s probably why she’s telling him to focus on it. You currently have food and shelter now, but where is it going to be later, with him?

    Update your mom.

  • martin
    Lv 7
    4 weeks ago

    Follow the path of love in your life, your mother for example, and your children. If the father of those children doesn't love you, do not harm the children for that. It's not their fault or yours either. Make sure the kids are proud of their father.

    • dex4 weeks agoReport

      You dirty little pack rat you sound so stupid

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  • 4 weeks ago

    It might be that your mother is wanting to keep a line of communications open with him, since he is the father of your child. In time, you may be thankful that the window is still open, as a man is more likely to come back when he feels he was never completely out. This could be important in future years if you need him to help financially with your child. Anger doesn't serve you. Focus on the child's needs and you may find that you agree with your mom's strategy. I do hope your life improves soon. Good luck.

  • Anonymous
    4 weeks ago

    I find it interesting that you have complaints about the very person who is keeping you - and one child, soon to be two - out of a homeless shelter.

    Your mother APPARENTLY believes she is paying what he would/should pay by supporting you and your child (and unborn child).

    Better question would be why you haven't gone to Court and requested child support from the father?  

    Keep in mind that YOU picked this guy.  Apparently he was a real loser, and that's what you wanted as an example for your children.

    • Anonymous4 weeks agoReport

      I tried putting him on child support he has no address for them to send him his paperwork

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