Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 8 months ago

I wish I had more affection?

My Fiancé doesn't show me any real affection and it's starting to take a toll on me. We just had a baby who I love dearly so I shouldn't even care about stupid stuff like this but it makes me really sad that he doesn't hold my hand in public unless I hold his or he doesn't cuddle with me or kiss me very much. I feel like breaking things off but the last time I did that it just ended up in a huge fight and us eventually staying together. I don't know how I would survive without his financial support right now either especially with a baby. I feel like I love him but I feel like maybe that's just because he's manipulating me. He cheated on his ex a few times and even told me about it which makes me concerned that he has or will in this relationship. I have tried talking to him about all of this but he just deflects and eventually it gets dropped until I start to bring the questions back up. What do I do? I feel really stuck and just wish I was with someone who showed me more love. 

2 Answers

  • Anonymous
    8 months ago
    Favourite answer

    I think the most important thing to remember is that your fiance is not the first guy who struggles to be affectionate. What I think you should do is focus on being proactive in teaching him how to be romantic. For example, taking the initiative and planning simple date nights, such as restaurants or movie nights, are a great starting point. More elaborate ideas may including doing things like going on a couples retreat. If you are in any doubt over things that you should do then why not go back to doing the sorts of things that you did when you first started dating. Also remember, guys are always more hesitant to cancel when you've planned something because they cannot live with the guilt.

    When it comes to the affection side of things, try giving your boyfriend hints as to things that he can do. Moreover, focus on building up his confidence when he does things that you like by complimenting him. Basically you want to make him feel that he is a confident lover who knows how to make you happy. It is all about boosting his ego! I really hope this helps :)

    Source(s): What was your fiance like when you first started dating? Was he romantic and affectionate then or is it something that he has always struggled with?
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  • glcang
    Lv 7
    8 months ago

    It is hard when we have all been so conditioned to believe that love must come from someone else.

    You have probably never thought about loving yourself.

    It is something few people talk about in our culture.

    You are at the beginning of a long road now that you are a parent. You have great responsibility.

    Don’t raise your child the way you were raised. By that I mean waiting for love from outside to fulfill them.

    You have financial needs but also emotional ones and if they are not addressed you will be denying a big part of yourself.

    If your BF doesn’t want to talk about it...go see a counselor on your own and begin to express some self love. If you don’t , and settle for security, you will be miserable.

    Take the hard  steps now to avoid a lifetime of misery.

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