Am I wrong to allow my teen son to go to store with friends during "house arrest"?
He is 14 and was caught stealing from a store. He a result, he is on "house arrest", meaning he lost privileges, including his cellphone, allowance, and hanging out with friends after school. He just sent me text (via flip phone) politely asking whether he could participate in a treasure hunt activity at a local store with his friends after school. Because courtesy has been something I try hard to train him lately, I rewarded him with a Yes for his politeness. Was that OK? He has been only on "house arrest" for 2 days. Sort of feel like I lost my principle. I would love to hear what other parents think. Thank you!
- linkus86Lv 79 months agoFavourite answer
If you don't follow through on your punishments your son won't take your rules seriously making him especially vulnerable to those who do (the police).
- AmarettaLv 79 months ago
Did you call the store to verify the "treasure hunt" activity? How do you know he was actually there and not just hanging out with his friends at the mall or in a car or anywhere in town? How do you know he wasn't stealing from other store while he was out with his friends? You've just taught him that there are no major consequences for his bad behavior (and stealing IS a bad behavior). Now he thinks that as long as he asks nicely, he'll get permission to do whatever he wants. You caved on your principles, which is never a good thing.
- James BlackleyLv 79 months ago
I think you messed up here-
Just because he asked you nicely, doesn't mean he should have been allowed to leave the house either! He committed a criminal offense, and you are rewarding his very bad behaviour, I think you are aware of this. You set very fair boundaries here with him, and you need to adhere to them, he needs to learn his actions have very serious consequences.
Look at it this way, if he committed this crime as an adult, odds are he would do jail time for it! Your son is heading down a very dangerous path here, it is up to YOU to get him back on track before its too late. Also he further violated his own punishment by finding a phone to use without consent, it tells me he doesn't care and that he can do anything he wants.
Time to step up here.
- .Lv 59 months ago
If he is on house arrest by the police and is caught out with his friends by the police, you will be responsible, for him breaching the terms and condition of his house arrest. Pray that he doesn't do anything wrong while out with his friends and returns safely.
You will have to tell him that he is not to go out with anyone. Keep him off the computer, the only time he can communicate is with family and on your terms.
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- LizBLv 79 months ago
So he store something from a store, and just a few days later you allow him to go to another store with his friends unsupervised? Yeah, you screwed up. Why bother with punishments when you're not going to follow through?
- EvaLv 79 months ago
You caved. No it was not ok. You told him he could not hang out with his friends after school. I sincerely doubt that a store is having a treasure hunt. I think you've been had.
- 9 months ago
Well if you let him it’s not a house arrest. And if he does not have a house arrest it’s totally normal to let you’re child go to the store.
- Anonymous9 months ago
Trolling, trolling, trolling.
- Anonymous9 months ago
You are too harsh. All kids need a smartphone. You should be charged for neglect.