Is my partner in the wrong here?

I have something wrong with my heart that I'm waiting to get diagnosed which makes it beat extremely rapidly, I feel sick; chest pains and it feels like I'm going to pass out and my hands shake uncontrollably.

My partner knows this and tonight it came on strong, I was scared to move so I did my usual thing and sat still, didnt move. My partner asked of I was okay so told partner that I feel like it again.

Instead of being supportive and understanding my partner went off into the other room and didnt say a thing to me for over an hour. Then my partner came in and said they're going to bed. Didnt even check up on me and didnt ask if I was okay. I said to my partner that they haven't checked on me nor bothered with me despite these events being very traumatic and intense on my body. 

My partner then proceeded to say I haven't bothered speaking to them for the duration despite me not being able to move properly without this triggering when this happens. I told me partner how I feel and straight up said they dont care, because thays how it looks. After a bit of back and fourth through messege, my partner came onto the other room where I was laying and said they'd sit with me and see if I'm okay but to not expect them to talk to me. 

We got into an argument because I said that they're more bothered about themselves(because of them saying I'm ignoring them and not because I'm unwell and having an episode and thats why I'm obviously quite, my partner knows this) 

11 Answers

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  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    2 weeks ago

    Once this is diagnosed you'll want to bring your partner into a meeting with your doctor so they can learn how best to handle these spells (unless of course they can be medicated away, as I suspect they can). Not everyone is born knowing how to deal with a medical emergency and some people have a strong aversion to being in uncomfortable situations like that. So if your partner can't handle someone who's sick this may not be someone you'll choose to stay with. Although most heart conditions can be mediated via medication or surgery.

  • 3 weeks ago

    This could be anything. It could be a heart condition but more likely a panic attack. If you are constantly having them and are doing nothing about getting yourself sorted out (be proactive and don't just sit around waiting) then your partner is probably getting rather fed up with watching you have these attacks. Sounds like it and then you have arguments which probably make the condition work. See your doctor again and tell him you need to have something done about this problem because it's ruining your life.

  • ron h
    Lv 7
    3 weeks ago

    how many "partners" do you have? Your question is very confusing because you keep saying "they."  I have episodes of rapid heart beat that I take a couple of pills for--I hope problem can be fixed easily.  BUT It seems that you're not letting your partner(s) know what would be helpful so he or she or both of them left you to be quiet. You should let your partner(s) know what you want:  Stay with you and talk, or stay and don't talk.  Or you'd rather he or she would "check up" on you every 15 or 20 minutes.

  • Alan H
    Lv 7
    3 weeks ago

    Sorry, but it will not improve.

    Time to move on.

    Better nobody than one who does not care 

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  • Tj
    Lv 7
    4 weeks ago

    Why are you not going to the emergency room and have your problem taken care of? you do not play games with your problem.

  • Jerry
    Lv 6
    4 weeks ago

    You have diagnosed the situation perfectly; your partner doesn't care... That's not the definition of a partner. Partners support partners. If it's his/her way of not knowing what to do, at least he/she should have the common sense to say that they aren't sure what to do. But to go off to another room when you're having an episode of whatever your condition turns out to be is plain rude and uncaring. I think you'd be better off alone than with this partner person - you're essentially alone now, this so called partner is just taking up space.

  • 4 weeks ago

    If you're unwell and having an episode you are. Sorry you're struggling but how do you think your partner can fix this? He can't.

  • Jerry
    Lv 6
    4 weeks ago

    It's unreasonable to expect that a person will be his/her regular self when he/she is not his/her usual self due to matters outside his/her control. I could understand becoming frustrated with someone who demands that one inconvenience oneself on account of his/her not being his/her usual self. But "I need to sit still for awhile" isn't much of a demand. 

  • 4 weeks ago

    I dont actually think he is in the wrong here no.

     I do think he has no idea what you want or what you need him to do or say, so he gives you space.

    Do you know what you need from him? 

    If you do, ARTICULATE that too him

    If you do not, how can you expect him to know?

    Sounds like you are experiencing panic attacks

    but no point speculating, get diagnosed by a proper medical professional and get practical help rather than expecting your partner to automatically know

  • 4 weeks ago

    If your partner is not a medical professional, he/she probably feels helpless and useless during these "episodes".  You're sitting still and not talking. What are they supposed to do to show they care and are "supportive"? Hold your hand? Pat you on the back?  If you need or want medical help, go to a doctor. Now. Maybe if you have a real diagnosis, your partner will be more able to understand what you're going through.

    • Ryan4 weeks agoReport

      So if you partner was going through these issues would you just gp into the other room and not talk to them?

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