My wife's dad keeps asking for money, idk what to do.?

So my wife's dad is always asking for money like every other week and the money he ask is always from $80-$200. He always says he'll pay back but mostly never does, my issue is he ask all the time knowing that I only work while my wife is home with our kids. Also since he has always been asking plus all the bills we have with the kids,rent, utilities, groceries and such I have had to take a second job. Both jobs honestly dont pay that well and we living okay maybe with a few dollars left over each check, but we never get to save it cause my father in law will ask for whatever we have and then the next week ask for more. I sometimes have Bill's I just dont pay or pay way later to compensate. I tried telling my wife to stop agreeing to help her dad but to no avail since we are married I believe the money I make is for my wife and kids and only them and i have no issue how my wife spends the money it's just i feel like since my wife has been constantly helping out her dad every time he ask he has taken advantage of the situation and its stressing me out.

Ps my father in law has no Bill's and gets SSI of 770 a month and has food stamps and lives with his sister who also gets SSI food stamps and housing yet always burns through his money then ask for more 

19 Answers

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  • 4 weeks ago

    Sounds like daddy dearest has a gambling or drug problem.  I make around the same as he does and I have a roommate and do just fine.  Sure there are a lot of things I would love to have, like a car but can't because they come with extra expenses like gas, insurance, upkeep, etc. Put your family first, man up and tell him the bank is closed

  • 4 weeks ago

    He needs a job. End of story. He shouldn't doing that.

  • Raja
    Lv 7
    4 weeks ago

    Explain to him whatever you earn is just sufficient to manage your family affairs.You have to look after your wife and children.It is not possible to support an adult. Advice him to seek part time employment and be independent. Tell your wife if you are to loan money to her father and if he does not repay that you will have to cut down the allowance that you are giving her. She will have collect the money from her father.   

  • 4 weeks ago

    You and she has to decide not to "loan" her dad any more money. And stick to it.

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  • PAMELA
    Lv 7
    4 weeks ago

    You have a choice, put up with the situation or next time he asks you say sorry, i have no spare money to lend you, simple.You have to put your children first or you are not much of a father are you?

    • Dr. Stephanie
      Lv 7
      4 weeks agoReport

      The reason your wife continues is probably because she was brought up to believe this was the right thing to do. Its NOT. He is supported already and well taken care of. Go to counseling with your wife, if she refuses to agree with you. Good luck ! 

  • 4 weeks ago

    Don't give your wife access to cash or your ATM cards anymore. That ought to do it

    • Dr. Stephanie
      Lv 7
      4 weeks agoReport

      No, it won't...his wife also works and brings in part of their much needed income.

  • 4 weeks ago

    Say, "Sorry, can't do it."

  • 4 weeks ago

    Time for you to front up to your father in law and tell him to stop asking your wife for money. Tell him he is actually stealing the food out of the mouths of his grandchildren and that you and your family are no longer going to let him leech off you. It is totally unfair of him and he's using emotional blackmail on his own daughter. He's not going to like it and your wife is not going to like it - but why should you work two jobs to provide for your own flesh and blood when her father doesn't provide anything for his own flesh and blood. He just takes. Tell him to leech of someone else for a while and get off your backs.

  • Linda
    Lv 6
    4 weeks ago

    Talk to your wife first and explain there has got to be a better solution for her dad, like can he get a part time job and does he need help with budgeting his money? He can get on food stamps, get reduced housing, etc. Why is he always falling short? My guess is he is not handling his money correctly and he might need someone to handle his money and be his payee instead of him getting the SSI check each month. I know you do not want to handle his check but it would be better to do that than to constantly have to lend money. Your wife could pay his rent, bills, out of his money and then take him to get groceries.

    • Dr. Stephanie
      Lv 7
      4 weeks agoReport

      Here's an idea: if he can't manage money on his own, someone could become his financial executor, by court order, and he would have no further access to money without their approval.

  • Mikey
    Lv 7
    4 weeks ago

    Tell her that the next time she hands over money to her dad, expect a letter from your lawyer. 

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