how do you maintain chatting to women on sites like facebook?

i'm a male in my early forties and over 6 months ago i was lucky enough to have an older lady added to my friends list, i forget how i discovered her...but she is in her mid 50's, she showed interest in me messaging her and showing interest in her....but in between messages, i take a long time getting back to her, many many weeks because i can't think of what to say or how to take the chat forward...i'm not confident in myself as i have had mental health problems in my life to deal with....ive struggled to mix and make any relationships and have never made any relationships....i have low self esteem....and are not confident in my chatting abilities....plus im frightened of rejection...and whenever a female i like has showed interest in me, ive got clingy, needy, showed desperation...and ended up scaring them off.

i'm a man who is lonely, lives alone in a flat and suffers a lonely existence....so i think thats what drives the neediness and desperation.

this older lady, i really like her, shes a natural redhead, slightly chubby and pale, all the things i like about a lady....but i don't know how to proceed in chatting to her?

i'm frightened if i say something too needy or clingy, she'll reject me.

but its been weeks since i last replied to her message on facebook and i need to reply.....can anyone advise me on how i should talk to her, what i should say or tips on how to respond or act?

2 Answers

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  • 4 weeks ago
    Best answer

    if you want to talk to anyone, you need to maintain a conversation, NOT leave it weeks between messages. Rightly or wrongly, that gives an impression you are NOT interested.

    You say you don't know what to say.  Well, what about talking about last night's TV, a new film out at the cinema, BREXIT, the weather....

    But you are right when you say being needy, clingy and desperate are not attractive traits..

    • SCATTY c
      Lv 5
      4 weeks agoReport

      People tend to be clingy when they have no other interests or friends outside of that person. Even if you have no-one else, you need to maintain some air of independence.

  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    4 weeks ago

    Conversations can only continue as long as both parties have something to say. If you're finding that this exchange is petering out it's likely because you've run out of things to talk about (and therefore shouldn't be trying to perpetuate the chatting).

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