Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 1 month ago

Why is my dad being like he is?

My Mom and dad are separated. They both have different lives, they both have partners. As years go by after their separation, they became good friends. But then, since my dad got himself a new girlfriend, things started to change. My parents had a fall out, and didn't speak again, my mom tried to be civil for mine and my sister sake. but my dad wouldn't allow it.

My dad and his new partner tried for a baby, 9 months in there was a miscarriage. We as a family was there to support them, and grieve for them. One of the family members thought it would be better to give them space and anything they needed they would be there. My dads partner decided to cut contact with her, then as the year goes by my dad and his partner became distant from the family, even his brother and they was extremely close.

There was a massive fall out between my dad, his partner against me and my sister, we tried speaking to them about how we felt and how distant they are being with all of us, even his own daughters. Like as if my dad is a completely different person since his been with his partner. 

Two years, later my nan tells me that my dad and his partner are engaged. New baby arrives, we had no idea about it, nothing had been said.

Today, my great grandad and great grandma funeral. My mom arrived, my sister dropped a messaged to dad as it was the last minute decision, to warn him that mom is coming. Once it was over my dad couldn't even look at me and ignored my sister when he said goodbye. 

6 Answers

  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Chances are great that this new woman didn't like your dad's close relationship with his ex. The new partner is often paranoid about this and unfortunately far too many non-custodial parents don't understand that their kids are supposed to come first always.

  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    maybe you need to ask your dad this question

  • y
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Many times the dad in your situation, pull away due to the animosity from the ex. This is often cleverly hidden from the children who only get one side of the actual story. Dad is the bad one, the one in the wrong, the *** and all that jazz.  Often the dad cant deal with their own emotional baggage so they pull away and it comes across like they don't care. In your particular version though, i think something else happened behind closed doors that you are not aware of. All was good between your parents until another came into the life of dad. To me, that is telling. Now the other lady could be the one who forced dad to withdraw, We have all seen it over the years. But what I personally have seen more, is the mom in the situation is the one doing the pushing, the distancing. Just as you said another relative said something about giving them space, in a time when they needed support from family and friends.

    Two sides to every story, kids rarely get to know the truth, by the time they are actually old enough to even ask the right questions, their understanding of the truth has already been formed. Their understanding of the story has already been established. The emotional distance has already been created and the issues that now have become boulders. Get in the way of reestablishing the relationship.

  • Leto
    Lv 5
    1 month ago

    The only person who can truly answer your question is your father and for whatever reason he isn't talking.  Anything beyond that would be pure speculation at best and therefore completely unhelpful.  Often time when new people enter a group dynamic, that dynamic changes.  Sometime for the better, sometimes for the worse, but always there is change to one degree or another.  It's never easy to lose someone this way, but your father has obviously had a change of heart and is now acting accordingly.  All you can do is be patient and keep the door open for him, should he decide to reach out again.  I know it's hard, and I know it's painful, but he's made his choice and you have to come to terms with the fact that you may never know why.  I wish I had a more comforting answer and handy solution.  Best of luck to all of you.

  • What do you think of the answers? You can sign in to give your opinion on the answer.
  • Sandy
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    your father needs to make the first move, since he saw fit to distance himself. it sounds like he wants to forget his first family. that's really sad. just go on with your life. maybe one day he'll come around. 

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    Cool story, bro!

Still have questions? Get answers by asking now.