Anonymous asked in Pregnancy & ParentingGrade-Schooler · 9 months ago

My son keeps complaining about his life and says people don't know/understand him, what should I do?

I have a son (late elementary age) who has been upset and complaining nearly every day that he never gets to do what he loves and that he feels people don't understand who he is (what he likes, what he dislikes, etc.) but as his parent, of course I know him inside and out! He really enjoys Disney movies/cartoons; he draws his favorite characters, plays with his plush toys and action figures, and talks about Disney stuff all the time. I will let him watch a few hours of Disney movies/cartoons one day (both days if he works hard during the week) on the weekend, but not during the week. Monday through Friday, I will not let him watch TV and he can only use the computers/tablets for school assignments. He can use the computers/tablets for watching cartoons or doing other things one day on the weekend. The other weekend day he must be doing chores or homework. He gets angry and says he wishes he could watch cartoons more and have more play time, but he needs to learn that this is life, we have to work hard for everything, nothing is free. He says he really hates this schedule and that nobody understands who he really is. I've explained to him that life is serious business and is not going to be fun 24/7. Five days a week he goes to school, one day on the weekend he does chores/homework/other type of work, and the other day he can spend watching cartoons or doing other fun activities. That's the schedule and it will stay that way. I know he hates it but what can I do? That's life!


Yes, he's still heavily into Disney animated films and cartoons. He's told me loud and clear and that's his main focus on his free days.

6 Answers

  • Linda
    Lv 7
    9 months ago
    Favourite answer

    What about printing out a daily schedule with so much tv time and then activities that you know he likes, including friends coming over from school? Ask him for his input. If he sees on his schedule that he gets a lot of fun activities that he likes and give him stars or an allowance when he does chores, he might not mind it so much. The schedule has worked very well for my son and he has a combination of things he likes with chores and fun activities along with video games and tv that he checks off. He complains sometimes but he knows he has to do it.

  • Pat
    Lv 7
    8 months ago

    Sit down with the kid and ASK HIM what he wants people to know about him.

    Do not interrupt.

    Let him speak.

    I guarantee you don't know everything.

    He's lonely.

    So help him figure out a way to make friends.

  • 9 months ago

    since ur son like Disney stuff, have u tried taking him to Disney parks?

    Source(s): I went to Disneyland CA
  • 9 months ago

    He's entering adolescence. There are very few adolescents who think their parents understand them. You are not alone by any means. It sounds like you've reached a good compromise with him- stick to it. And tell him if he keeps whining, you'll reduce his Disney hours.

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  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    9 months ago

    just tell him thats what he needs to do and he needs to stop complaining about it

  • Nancy
    Lv 7
    9 months ago

    By not assuming that all the things he's liked before, like all that Disney crap, are still the things he likes. It sounds like you may be pigeonholing him, and he resents being told what he likes or it being assumed that he wants this and doesn't want that. He wants to be able to be different than he's been without fear that you're going to freak out or be dismissive but instead feel assured that you'll be understanding.

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