Husband has a female co-worker's number. Should I be worried?
My husband works in an office and they have a number of employees that sit around them in a cubicle farm. She says he speaks with the "girls" all day long. He's one of a few guys. Well, we recently planned a trip to our state's fair and he mentioned to one of the girls there that we were going. She sent him a YouTube link to some of the foods we could expect to find at the fair. He said they got a good laugh at some of the stuff we could eat and so he said that this one co-worker told him to text her pics of all the strange foods we ate. The reason is because a lot of them were suppose to start working from home this week and last week was the last day my husband would be seeing them for a few months. He wasn't selected to work from home. He told me that he had this one girl's number and was going to text her pics of the food we bought. Should I feel a certain way that my husband has the personal number of a female co-worker and plans to text her. When I brought this up to him he said it was no different than me having the numbers of some of my co-workers. They are all female though so it is a bit different. He's a guy. Maybe if he was texting another guy I could see his point but what should I do here. Should I approach him again about this?
- Anonymous2 weeks ago
Yes, be worried. The only way I wouldn't be worried is if the woman is a lot older and unattractive. Even then, it's strange he's thinking about texting her when he's on a trip or outing with you. I would let him know it makes you uncomfortable and you would appreciate him not contacting her after work hours as previous poster said.
- FoofaLv 73 weeks ago
It's common and even encouraged by employers for workers to be able to reach each other outside of the office. Unless you're seeing some evidence of an overly close personal relationship I wouldn't worry about it. This wifely suspicion of any coworker who happens to be female is one reason women face so many obstacles in trying to get ahead professionally. One wonders if you'd jump to the conclusion your husband was gay if these exchanges were with another man. You're being a little bit ridiculous.
- OcimomLv 74 weeks ago
As long as he's not hiding his text to her you are fine. Hubby and I don't have locks on our phones and can look and see each other's phone. We trust each other.
- JohnLv 74 weeks ago
It sounds friendly, there is nothing particularly suspicious going on.
I think you're uncomfortable with him using the number for non-professional things. There are other ways for him to share photos, like through twitter or facebook.
Don't you trust him? Or do you really think he is cheating on you? I think you should address these trust issues.
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- Andrew SmithLv 74 weeks ago
You always have some reason for concern. But it is like driving a car down the street.
There is always a possibility that something could go wrong yet you don't dwell on it.
You don't expect a crash. You just know that it is possible and take reasonable steps to be careful.
You don't stop driving the car.
So he has friends at work. So what. They include females. So what.
He has some that he wishes to keep in touch with. So what.
If you see behaviour that crosses normal social bounds then you might need to do something.
At the moment you are being way too sensitive.
- 4 weeks ago
If he is being open and honest about it then I don't see what the problem is.
- mmmLv 74 weeks ago
if he snaps a picture of you and the food? I don't see an issue
him involving you in the conversation? I don't see a big issue
if they become friendly and you are out of the loop? be very worried
- Anonymous4 weeks ago
Clearly, you do not trust your husband. The only question is whether or not you're being clingy and insecure, or whether you have valid reason.
If this is the only thing that's ever gotten your attention, you're being very insecure. My husband and I both have work friends of both sexes. It wouldn't even occur to me to worry if he had a phone # for a female. Heck, we both go to after work type stuff without the other. So I suggest you take a step back.
Flip side: If there have been other things your intuition has picked up on, this is very different. If this is the case, it's not about pictures of state fair foods. It's about everything combined. And that means a serious convo.
- 4 weeks ago
Nope. There is no need. By the sounds of things this is perfectly acceptable.
You've already voiced your concern. Unless you have some proof of cheating/unfaithfulness, there isn't really anything you can do here.
Besides, he's made it known to you that he has this other person's number. If he had something to hide, he would likely not have ever told you.
You're married. Hopefully he takes that commitment seriously. You have to trust him. It sounds like you do, just that you're unsure about whether he having an employee's number is ok or not.
Most co-workers who are friends share numbers and this isn't uncommon.
It would be worth bringing it up again however if you noticed that they were talking/texting all the time. But even then, it wouldn't immediately point to there being any foul play occuring.
Stop stressing about this and enjoy his company. Life's too short. If you ever notice something else going on - that should be the time you bring up the issue with him again.
- Anonymous4 weeks ago
Yes you should be alert and on top of this directly. If actions are not taken now his female co worker will be sitting on her knees soon and you know well that means a b j....and if things get worse he might nail her as well