How do I correct and make this sound Shakespearean poetic?

Make me unconscious with a look my luv,

Make me crazy and lovelorn,

Like the down breeze,


Wow, that stunning face,

Oh, those seductive eyes,

They make me unconscious.

What did I to you except for loving you, that you make me so miserable?

I’m worried that you seek for me when you can’t find me alive.

I’m burning in the sorrow and sadness of this separation,

Prithee, Come back so that the sorrow vanishes,

3 Answers

  • 3 weeks ago
    Best answer

    Cause me to swoon with just a glance, my love,

    Render me confused and lovelorn,

    As is the downy breeze,

    Heavens above! Thy beauty turns me into a dead one when I behold thee,

    Lord, thy wondrous face,

    Oh, those bewitching eyes,

    That render me senseless.

    What reason hast thou to bring me such sorrow, for I did nothing amiss but for being thy admirer?

    I fret that thou seekest me when I have departed this earth.

    This separation burns me with sorrow and with sadness,

    I prithee, return to me that the sorrow may vanish!

  • JOHN
    Lv 7
    3 weeks ago

    Make me swoon with a look my luv,

    Make me crazy and lovelorn,

    Like the down breeze,

    Wow, when I meet you, my soul succumbs,

    You overwhelm my soul with your beauty;

    Wow, that stunning visage, oh, those

    Seductive eyes, that my consciousness overwhelm.

    Save for loving you, what did I to you that you requite me with so much misery?

    I worry that a day is nigh when in vain you shall seek for me,

    ‘Cause among the quick I no longer be.

    Not least by the burn of the sorrow and sadness of this apartness

    Am I being consumed. Prithee, my love, come back,

    Come back to me; And, like a mist before a summer’s

    Morning’s sunshine, all the sorrow, all the sadness,

    All the heartbreak away wil melt.

  • 3 weeks ago

    Correct grammar. It sounds Shakespearean enough, dear.

    • Undisclosed
      Lv 6
      3 weeks agoReport

      Not an expert on the subject, but I see what you mean.

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