Should I feel guilty for not visiting my dad?
So my dad lives 3 hours away. I call him every other weekend to check up on him. We usually talk for an hour. Anyways hes always asking for me to visit him. Based on my experiences it's been bad. Hes very religious. Nothing against anyone that's religious but it changed him. Everytime I visit it's hard to be around him. We cant listen to certain types of music, can't watch boxing, ufc, play billiards, cant watch certain types of movies. Anyways sometimes he makes me feel uncomfortable because he always asks why I'm an atheist. I honestly respect his beliefs but he doesnt respect mine. It's a 3 hour drive. I've told him how I've felt and he says that's his religion. Anyways I'm getting to the point where I dont want go out of my way to see him. What should I do?
- LindaLv 51 month agoBest answer
Your dad is not going to change but I think it is unreasonable of him to expect you to not be allowed to listen to music you like, play billiards, etc around him when you are there. Tell him how you feel and if he won't budge then see him less. It might be better to have visits over the phone and less face to face visits with him.
- Serene ELv 71 month ago
Family has to be nurtured to keep relationships going. Go and visit and find common ground. Talk about family, family stories, relatives, etc.
- Anonymous1 month ago
You explained this really well, so I don't get why you can't figure out what to say to him! The next time you talk, you could tell him you'd like to come over for a couple hours and cook up some chili (or stop somewhere to get his fave takeout). BUT...if you do this, both of you have to agree religion is not a topic you'll talk about.
This isn't as uncommon as you might think. For years, families have declared certain topics off limits, usually politics and religion, but there are other ones, as well.
- Pearl LLv 71 month ago
i would go see him anyways, someday he wont be around and you will miss him
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- NONAMELv 71 month ago
just tell him he is boring and predictable...it will hurt a little but not too much..better than lying
- ♥Lv 71 month ago
Why even talk about religion? I am atheist, and my parents don't know. They don't need to know that. Just enjoy time together without debating controversial topics all of the time. Can't you just play some board games or go out to a restaurant for dinner? Or try to find some common ground where you both can enjoy time together. You clearly do feel guilty, otherwise you wouldn't have asked in the first place. So make sure you see your dad sometimes and put aside the disagreements.
- choko_canyonLv 71 month ago
It's not a matter of whether you "should" feel guilty or not, because there is no such thing as 'should' in matters of feelings. You either feel guilty or you don't. I would suggest you visit him a few times per year, when YOU feel like it. If he really wants to know why you don't visit him more frequently, explain it to him honestly. He'll either hear you and understand or he won't.
- TexpersonLv 71 month ago
The number one thing is that he's your father and he won't be here forever. Maybe go for short weekend visits once in a while. Find a few things you and he can do together or discuss without friction and talk about that, possibly foods you like and go out to a restaurant you both enjoy, or whatever. One day when he's gone you will feel better about yourself for not locking him out of your life.