Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFriends · 4 weeks ago

What do you think of this situation?

Hey everyone! So I wanted to come on here to see what others think of this situation.

I'm in my early 20s and a year ago I moved with my boyfriend to a different state because of a job offer he got. I love where we're living because it's a beautiful place and it feels like a fresh start for me because I grew up with a crazy, unhealthy childhood so I don't regret this move. But I do get sad because I don't have any friends or family at all here. I used to be such a social person before but I feel like I'm the complete opposite now and the only people I talk to are my coworkers. 

So there's this one co-worker who's my age and yesterday while I was in the break room, she came in and sat at my table. She asked me about my move and how it's affected me. I told her it's been tough because I feel like I have nobody except for my boyfriend and I started venting to her about my depression. She then said "why don't you go out and find a hobby and make friends that way?" And she was trying to give me ideas on what/where I can go to meet people. I appreciated the advice but isn't that kind of rude to not say "maybe we can go out for drinks one day" or try to be nice to someone having a hard time? 

Then a few minutes later she said "guess what I'm doing tomorrow, me and _____ (another co-worker) are going to the annual fair that's in town! We're so excited, it's supposed to be good" 

Am I overreacting or is it kind of rude to not befriend your coworker who vented to you? 

5 Answers

  • Linda
    Lv 5
    3 weeks ago
    Best answer

    She probably wasn't thinking of hurting you when she said that. She was probably giving you some honest advice about a way to make new friends. Her telling you about another coworker and her hanging out after work was just a spur of the moment thing and maybe she was hinting for you to come along. When she said that you could have said, "I'd love to go to that if I had someone to go with." At that point, she'd probably have asked you to go along also. Next time you see her if you like her, ask her to hang out sometime after work, and get a drink. Take a chance you'll never know.

  • Eva
    Lv 7
    4 weeks ago

    A co-worker is under no obligation to become your friend. She gave you some good advice.

  • 4 weeks ago

    She was trying to "befriend" you. You could have asked to accompany your new friend. I bet she would have welcomed you. She did give you good advice, though. Find a hobby where you will be around other people. You'll have least the hobby in common to begin with. Who knows what else you'll find in common?

  • 4 weeks ago

    So you think she was rude for suggesting that you go out for drinks, and then it's rude that she didn't invite you to the fair? I think she was inviting you to join them, but waiting for you to express an interest. You can't sit back and wait for her to do all the work. You could have said, "Oh, can I go with you? That sounds like fun." Or you could say, "I'd love to get a drink. Let me know when you have some time."

    In my experience, it's a mistake to tell people you're depressed. It just makes them not want to be around . you. This is not a long term friend who will understand if you unload on her.

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  • y
    Lv 7
    4 weeks ago

    Nope, it's not. The only issue here is the way you are processing the situation. She gave you good advice. In reality, her sitting down and takeing the time to chat, to ask you how it's going and such, is how friendships can start and such. It all takes time is all.

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