how can i get better at commanding people on the phone?

i want to be able to talk with authority and always command people when speaking on the phone, not be swayed by the person i'm talking to or unnerved in any way......but because of my anxiety problems and ptsd, i at times don't put myself across very effectively or commanding at all....i tend to feel flustered, panicked, startled and exasperated, get unnerved quickly.

like before, i was on the phone to ups courier service because a package i was expecting today was messed up by them, which means it won't be delivered today....and the foreign lady who i spoke to, instead of being commanding and showing authority with her....i came across as startled, panicked and unnerved? and i was annoyed at my own performance?

i felt i failed at what i intended to do.

im a man in my early forties and would like some advice about this?

when i feel i can't assert myself effectively i then feel the urge to get aggressive and threaten, which i know is wrong....thats why i try desperately to control my emotions.

i'm a medieval enthusiast and i model myself on a knight from medieval folklore and try to act how a ''knight'' would act, like a fearless soldier and command people.....and when i fail at that...i feel incredibly annoyed with people and myself.

7 Answers

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  • g
    Lv 7
    1 month ago
    Best answer

    You feel the need to "be commanding and show authority" with people on the phone, with customer service reps?? Pretty sure medieval knights were fairly well educated and trained to contain themselves other than when in battle situations.

    Be annoyed as you wish but understand that those with whom you're speaking have limitations on their end as well. There's no need to try and command anyone over the phone. Things will go wrong, expect the unexpected, and stop taking things personally or as personal affronts.

  • RICK
    Lv 7
    4 weeks ago

    Outside the military, police or fire department commsnding people is rare

  • 1 month ago

    Forgive yourself. Think before you call. Write down what you need to be clear on. You don't have to command people as much as you just need to let them do their job the way that they were trained. Be friendly and less aggressive and they will be happy to help you. Your self image is playing tricks on you with how you see yourself as someone who can get others to do things for you. "ITS NOT GOING THE WAY THAT I WANTED!". Maybe not but did the person on the phone do what you needed? Write down what you need to be done. That should leave out all error in communication. Write down what they said. Read both papers and see if there was communication. If not then someone isn't listening or trying too hard to be a poser and isn't living up to their own expectations. You are at war with self image. And perhaps personality. You don't have to be an aggressive and commanding individual to get a simple message across. Nothing wrong with keeping things simple. I find that it keeps things from being too complicated. Another problem may be that these people don't like the idea of how you are being a commanding. I find that many times that its me and I just need to simplify things

  • 1 month ago

    You're the guy who wants to 'command' at the gym.

    Give up on this 'command' fantasy. Be a human being.

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  • 1 month ago

    Stop making excuses for your lack of confidence. If you are going to claim your anxiety problems and PTSD, you will always be handicapped by them.

    Write yourself a note with the goal of your task. When faced with adversity, take a breath and reread your note to yourself to get you refocused on your goal.

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    Just talk to the people on the phone like you do in person. Like a knight in shining armour.

  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    i wouldnt command it, i would just talk to them in a nice way

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