Anonymous asked in Social SciencePsychology · 9 months ago

I don't like the way I act and i want to change but i cant?

Sometimes, I feel like I'm in a deep place. I am lonely and hardly have any friends. But that's not the problem. The problem is I lack confidence, because talking to other people has always been my struggle. I don't like the way I act because it is very immature for my age, and I do not know when I will be able to change. I am only like this when I'm with family, but when I'm out there in the public im a very different person. And that's who i prefer to be, yet i am battling 2 different personalities. Everytime I behave immaturely or regret something I did, I start getting all emotional. I hate myself for it, because I know I cannot change. Sometimes I just try to accept it. But its hard. Sometimes I imagine myself finding somebody who I can just have a connection with and is able to understand me. But I'm still scared to face the world, and I've already stepped into the real world, which is uni. I do not know what will be ahead of me. I don't even know what i want in life. My faith is too weak, and im not doing anything to strengthen it. Im not motivated or anything. I need somebody to push and tell me that i can do it. that i will succeed in life. I lost a good friend who i was able to fully relate with and now he turned into a different person. Whenever i change, its only temporary. I wish i was stronger enough, but at times i feel like im in some kind of bubble. I feel like im only scratching the surface. I've wasted my time on stupid things. Sorry for the long essay. 

3 Answers

  • 9 months ago

    I'm sorry you're depressed and confused. You're right about the fact that you'll always have anxiety and character flaws, but it's not true that you can't do anything about them. It's not a matter of fate, or bad luck, or God's punishment. It's been said that most people's problems are mostly self caused.

    There are reasons for lacking a sense of identity. If parents are overbearing or cruel, they can stunt emotional growth. If this happens before the age of 16 or so, it causes a fragile ego with poor self esteem and a poor sense of boundaries. Identity is about boundaries - I will do this, I won't do that, I care about this, and work for them. I dislike dogs, love cats, and have these faults and strengths.

    It took me a long time to establish boundaries. I went through several changes of identity, complete with new names and new clothes. I was fascinated by too many things and couldn't settle down on a career or going to university. Having poor boundaries also meant I let people exploit me and walk all over me.

    In the end I needed therapy. Oh, when I was 35 I got lucky and found a wife who encouraged me to go to nursing school. I did, and it was a big change in my life.

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  • 9 months ago

    I've written a lot of mental health questions, with advice from experts on a variety of problems, including what a famous psychiatrist has said about dealing with motivation problems. There are some simple but surprisingly effective tricks that help with motivation.

    There are probably a lot of people at your school who miss their high school friends. Get involved with some activities so you connect with people.

    This video is an introduction to self-efficacy theory.

    Youtube thumbnail


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  • 9 months ago

    Your thought processes are totally normal. Everyone feels the same sort of self-loathing over idiotic stuff. The more you socialize, the more you will find that other people are human just like you. Relax

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