Anonymous

How do I manage a work life balance? Struggling.?

I started a new job this year. It's very demanding and requires extra hours of work. The challenges at work are difficult to manage alongside my relationship. I'm in the middle of planning my wedding and moving to a different city, which is making everything more overwhelming. I try explaining my work to my partner and parents but don't think they understands the full complexity of the things I deal with every day. I'm always working even after work. My job involves a lot of paperwork, a very demanding team and dealing with difficult people on a daily basis. I have my own family too, who I don't think I spend enough time with or help out with things going on in their lives when they ask. When I do have time, I just want to relax in my bed or sleep. This makes me look very antisocial. I feel like I'm always chasing time trying to keep on top but just can't seem to please anyone. I always feel I'm not doing enough and my family stress is impacting my work, vice versa. Last week I cried infront of my leader and was really embarrassed. I explained that there's a lot going on and a lot of changes in my life. I felt really embarrassed. I think about quitting my job so I can focus on my wedding and family (I can get day to day work, instead) but I think this will make me feel and look like a failure in front of my family and fiance. I worked hard to get the job. I'm 23 and have been at my new job only a month. 

6 Answers

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  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    If you're just going to be moving soon anyway and can afford to not work maybe you should just resign so you can focus on family and wedding for now. But once you're married and living in this different city you're still going to have to find a way to work for a living while managing a marital relationship and potentially children at some point. So work on your organizational skills and when you next negotiate a job contract make sure there's some flexibility to it.

  • Alan H
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Work is for now.

    Family is for ever

    Nobody reaching the end of life looked back and said,

    “I wish I had spent less time with family, and more with work”

  • Jerry
    Lv 6
    1 month ago

    How do I manage a work life balance?

    "I'm in the middle of planning my wedding and moving to a different city ..." and this is along with starting a new job. So you've already broken the golden rule of a well balanced life. You've taken on more stress than you can handle. Can you defer the wedding or scale it down to something that's less work, less stress? Can you defer the move until you're better settled in at the new job?

    "I have my own family too, who I don't think I spend enough time with or help out with things going on in their lives when they ask."

    And if they think you aren't sacrificing enough of your free time to them, then that just goes to show how they think doesn't it? It's up to you to set limits, to NOT say yes when you want to say no. If you need to limit the time and energy you're giving to family, THEN DO THAT. It's not going to happen by itself.

    "just can't seem to please anyone"

    Stop judging yourself by whether others are pleased with you. YOU decide what family and others can reasonable expect of you and you communicate this clearly. Again, it's about setting and communicating your boundaries. If someone has unreasonable boundary crossing expectations of you, that's THEIR problem, not yours.

    I suggest deferring the wedding for a year or more. If your life is this much of a struggle as a single, it's going to be overwhelming as half of a marriage. You need to get your work and family issues better under control so as to have the kind of energy and focus you need to plan for MARRIAGE -- not plan the wedding but plan for the MARRIAGE. Getting engaged is about WANTING to marry, WANTING marriage to work. But don't marry until after nice long "almost married" period of making sure that the marriage you want will actually work. It takes more than love.

  • 1 month ago

    You are doing too much, too soon. Marriage is a change in lifestyle and planning a wedding is a big stress, so is moving away from parents, so is having a new job, so is moving to another place. You are doing it all at once and no wonder you are overwhelmed. You are also only 23. Is the wedding actually booked yet? If not, can it be postponed for a year? Your partner doesn't understand your stress - but you still plan marrying him? What's the rush? Do you not talk to your parents? Can you not explain your problems to one of them and ask their advice? You need to slow down and think and then prioritise what you feel is the most important thing to concentrate on - then the second, and so on.

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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    They tie up heavy burdens and put them on your shoulders and they themselves are not willing to lift a finger to help.

    Your problem isn't your job.

    Your problem is how you're handling the load.

    I'm here to lighten it.

    I am alone running the shipping department of an airplane factory: it would be chaos if I 'dropped the ball'. Worst case senario: we could lose airlines (our customers) if I didn't get the orders out on time.

    Here's what to do:

    Get a pad of paper and write down jobs as they come at you.

    It will take the jobs OFF your mind and they will be at your fingertips instead.

    Answer emails with "Acknowledged and prioritized."

    TAG them with colors or flags to remind you to get to them.

    Write them on your pad with the time the email came in.

    Handle requests on a first-come-first-served basis.

    If your boss interupts with another job, say "How am I supposed to do THAT when I'm doing this?"....

    in other words... give him or her the problem to solve for you.

    Handle your life the same way.

    If you are getting behind, go to your boss or your family and say "Despite my best efforts, I was not able to.... " and ask for help. Don't be proud. If you don't speak up they will keep loading you down... thinking you can handle it.

    Now the best advice of all:

    Murders, disasters, death and decay, combined with every day life stresses have caused an anxiety epidemic.

    Here's how to get out:

    Jesus commands us to focus on nature.

    "Look at the birds of the air." He says. "They don't sow or reap, yet your Father feeds them. Do not worry, little flock. For you are much more valuable than the birds."

    "Look at the lillies of the field. King Solomon in all his splendor was not dressed like one of these. If that's how He clothes the lillies of the field, will He not clothe you too?"

    "Do not worry about tomorrow, for you do not know what a day may bring. Today has enough evil of it's own."

    He's telling you to stay here 'in the now' with Him.

    Because if your eyes are on the things of this world, it means they aren't on Him.

    Stress is an internal warning sign - and you should read it as such - that you don't trust God.

    Make Him your bomb shelter.

    You control nothing.... ask therefore, for the things you need, and He will rend the heavens for you.

    • Jerry
      Lv 6
      1 month agoReport

      "If you are getting behind, go to your boss or your family and say "Despite my best efforts, I was not able to.... " and ask for help. Don't be proud. If you don't speak up they will keep loading you down... thinking you can handle it." ... This is wonderful advise for everyone!

  • JR
    Lv 4
    1 month ago

    Wow you have to get it together , make list prioritize check things off. You can do it keep your personal and work life separate. Do what u can after work but when u go to work be at work until u get off then focus on personal stuff.

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