Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 1 month ago

As a teenager, how can I mentally grow when I’m living with emotionally abusive parents?

In summary, I’m turning 18 soon and I feel like because I have been growing up in a strict and negative household (my younger sister contributing a lot to this too as she’s also an extremely pessimistic, gloomy person who just spreads negative vibes) - it’s kinda stunting my growth as a person?? I know that my happiness, mental wellbeing and mental growth is ultimately up to me and I try to stay positive and improve myself as a person but I feel so restricted in doing that while I’m surrounded by these toxic people I call “family”. And I know this sounds really bad, but because of this i also have this burning anger, frustration and hatred inside of me towards them because although they’ve done a lot of good things and have raised me and i SHOULD be grateful i’m just tired of them bringing me down all the damn time in their own little ways

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  • 4 weeks ago

    Believe me I know what you mean. My family is toxic to the point that I became estranged from them but sadly I couldnt make it on my own and reconnected. I didn't have a support system of any kind lost my house and was homeless three years. I didnt want to contact them but the start of the fourth year of being homeless I finally broke down and decided if you cant beat them join them. I am changing a little for the worse and they are changing a little for the better. Im starting to make sense of things they say in the past it was all negative crazy talk dont get me wrong I still dont like it. I always hoped to be free of them but I dont know how either.

  • 4 weeks ago

    I totally understand the struggle. I guess you could try to take as much opportunity to leave the house as possible (ex: hang out with friends, walk around, if you have a job, etc.). If you like music, drawing or you have other hobbies, do those. Or else is there a chance for you to move out?

    Just remember to stay strong and that even if your parents throw sh*t at you, don't let it attack you and don't think you are worthless. You really have to work on how you think.

  • 4 weeks ago

    I would say get a job save money and find a room to rent and move out keep on bettering your life don't let them turn you into them move out save money rent a room or a small studio and move out.

  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    i would just move out when youre 18

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  • 1 month ago

    The core principal to maturity is to take responsibility for yourself. When you can stop blaming others and realize it is all up to you, you will be mature enough to move forward. But if you make a move now, you will continue to have problems because you will quickly discover we all live by restrictive rules and you can't do anything you want at any time. And instead of blaming your family as you do now, you will just transfer that blame to others in your life putting you exactly back to where you are today.

    In case you missed it, the advice is to stop blaming others and take responsibility for yourself. If you insist on blaming someone, blame the guy looking back at you in the mirror. Because at 18, that person is in control.

  • 1 month ago

    From parents we can learn both what to be and what not to be. You're 18, so soon you'll be leaving home (or should be given that it's emotionally abusive). At that point, you'll realize how you want to be like your parents and how you want to be different.

  • 1 month ago

    By leaving. That's how.

  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Actually that doesn't sound "really bad" and is more typical than not of an 18 year-old who's feeling the yearning for independence but lacking the experience and perspective to know the difference between good parenting and something "toxic". But you'll find your way in life eventually. Just focus on your education and then you'll focus on building a career so you can leave the family home and create a life for yourself. Minus the very real abuse some kids grow up with your life doesn't really sound all that "abusive". But our hormones make us crazy between about 13 and 25.

  • ?
    Lv 6
    1 month ago

    You mentally grow by learning to deal with it and accepting them for not being perfect, like you'd want to be accepted for not being perfect. If you ever got cancer you'd want their love, not for them to say your cancer is negative, go live in a group home.

    You will work with and go to school with negative people your whole life.

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    You’re wrong. Mental health is 70% environmental and 30% self controlled. Having negative people around you will without a doubt have a massive affect on your mental health. Mental health deteriorates slowly so you won’t notice a problem until you start to consider suicide. It’s usually a little late then. The best thing to do is to avoid them as much as possible whilst keeping your brain occupied. If possible think about other things when they’re around so you can filter out their negative thoughts. 

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