Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Pregnancy & ParentingOther - Pregnancy & Parenting · 2 months ago

Dreading Christmas because of ex?

So another sleepless night for me due to my ex :'(

He wants to arrange Christmas already for seeing our son (which is fine). It's his year to have him Xmas day afternoon but he's saying this year I'll have to drop off & pick up (we always split drop off/collections even though he does both for his other 2 kids) as he won't have access to a car. I'm the past even if he has no car he'll still do one or the other...

I don't think that's fair as firstly it's my Christmas too so why should I have to run back & forth over town cause he can't be bothered to make any arrangements. 

And secondly he knows I'm pregnant and due on 21st Dec so I'm going to either have a newborn or be heavily pregnant at that point. 

My partner has said if it comes to that he'll do one or the other but has also said he won't be doing both for same reasons as above plus he says he personally wouldn't do either anyway as he'll do both for his other kids and having witnessed the way he treats me & the anxiety he constantly causes me he doesn't have time for him. 

I don't know what to do cause if I don't bow down to him (again!) I know he's going to try to ruin our first Christmas with our baby :'(

What would you do?

13 Answers

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  • Logan
    Lv 4
    2 months ago
    Best answer

    If he's asking you to do that despite knowing you're probably going to be either in hospital or with a newborn and can't find it within himself to be convenient then he doesn't care enough to be worth ****.

    Tell him to keep to the regular schedule because this is not a time where you have the luxury to change schedules when you could literally give birth on any day that week, before hand or after and you won't be in any condition to be carting people around town a couple days after birthing a whole human being.

    I'd even be wary of driving in the week or two leading up to the estimated date as you really just don't know when it will come until it's coming and if you're driving somewhere when that happens I can't imagine that'd be fun.

  • 1 month ago

    I don't care.I'm single

  • 2 months ago

    Say no. Repeat after me. N O NO!

  • 2 months ago

    I'd suggest you all grow up and but your son first.  You are supposed to be adults who've made a legal agreement to share custody and that includes a somewhat foolish decision to transfer custody on a holiday.  If you don't like that, then go back to court and get a new custody arrangement.  

    Being a parent isn't "fair."  Being in a shared custody arrangement is never going to be "fair."  Ask our ex/baby-daddy to cover the cost of an Uber or agree to some other arrangement.  Given that you could be in labor on that day, you probably should make different arrangements for this year.  

    • Anonymous2 months agoReport

      We don't have a shared custody agreement. My son lives with me & he only bothers to see him every 6-8 weeks even though I've told him he needs to be more consistent. Half the time my son doesn't even want to go with his dad as he never bothered to even call him.

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  • 2 months ago

    Your son is the most important person in this situation. Do NOT create needless drama over something that is entirely out of his control.

  • Byrd
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    Oh such childish drama

  • 2 months ago

    Due so near to Christmas? You don't know what will happen during that period or when! You have chosen to have a Christmas baby and need to accept the consequences. Difficult to plan anything one would think.

    • Anonymous2 months agoReport

      Also this is an IVF baby so we were just glad to get a second cycle. It was only at the viability scan when they told us the due date that we even thought about Christmas

  • 2 months ago

    So another sleepless night for me due to my ex :'( He wants to arrange Christmas already for seeing our son (which is fine). It's his year to have him Xmas day afternoon but he's saying this year I'll have to drop off & pick up (we always split drop off/collections even though he does both for his other 2 kids) as he won't have access to a car. I'm the past even if he has no car he'll still do one or the other... I don't think that's fair as firstly it's my Christmas too so why should I have to run back & forth over town cause he can't be bothered to make any arrangements. And secondly he knows I'm pregnant and due on 21st Dec so I'm going to either have a newborn or be heavily pregnant at that point. My partner has said if it comes to that he'll do one or the other but has also said he won't be doing both for same reasons as above plus he says he personally

  • 2 months ago

    I'd insist he be reasonable or threaten to go to court and have the court determine what is reasonable. It will cost you both $$$ and he will learn just how unreasonable he is being. You should not drive while heavily pregnant.

  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    I'd just bite the bullet and do what needs to be done to make Christmas run as smoothly as possible. Christmas is for children and is only for 2 days.

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