Don't know how to feel about my daughter transferring to her boyfriend's college?
My daughter is a freshman in college. She decided this summer (before even starting school) that she wanted to change her major and the school she was to attend didn't have that major. I'm totally fine with her changing majors, as it is actually something she's thought about doing for a long time. She extensively researched transfer requirements for several schools and the truth is, the school her boyfriend attends is the most transfer friendly school she found. So while it's an added bonus that he's there, it truly isn't the only reason she picked it. (she had actually applied to it in high school but chose a different school) It's a fabulous school, and we like the boyfriend a lot. And had they gone off to the same college from the get go I probably wouldn't have had a problem with it. But there is something about her transferring to his school that screams "she's following a boy" and people are of course giving me their opinions. I guess my question is: does anyone have advice for her as far as expectations and a smooth transition for their relationship. He's very excited that she's going there, but he's been there for a semester and has made friends and settled in. I want her to make friends too and not just consciously or subconsciously become a cocoon couple.
- 1 year ago
Time to stop worrying about this kind of stuff. You cannot insulate your daughter from life. If she transfers, finds out that the BF is no longer what she thought he was, she'll feel hurt.... better now than after they get married. Your little girl is grown up. Let go. Let her know you are there if she needs you.
- Ender772Lv 71 year ago
well...she probably knows that going to different colleges is a death sentence for their relationship...which means that she thinks he is the one and is going to marry him.
- dripLv 71 year ago
Well there seems to be a lot more going on than her following her boyfriend to another school. She has good reason to transfer and you all like the school. You like the guy. What is the problem?
You tell other people It is the best school for her and you are happy with her choice,
- LiliLv 71 year ago
Forget about other people's opinions. They are NOT important.
College relationships rarely last, but if she's transferring not for the boy but rather for the major, that doesn't matter. She should go ahead and do it. Everything sounds right about this transfer, and there is simply no reason for you to be worried about her developing her own friend group. She will. I think you're concerned for no particularly good reason, unless you fear that she's flighty and indecisive and might end up trying to transfer yet again.
But that's a different issue.
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- Pearl LLv 71 year ago
not much you can do about it, its her choice if she wants to do that
- Anonymous1 year ago
That's what you are most concerned about? If it were me I'd be more worried about her grades and her getting pregnant. Silly me!
- MSLv 71 year ago
Don't worry about what others think.
She should try to get involved with clubs and organizations that are relevant to her interests and to her major. Maybe she'll want to join a sorority or will grow close to people in her dorm. Maybe her boyfriend has some friends with girlfriends who she will become friendly with and they will socialize with groups of people that way. She should definitely get to know her own people.