Am I a failure?
I’m 28 years old. I grew up with my gran as my mum was a drug addict and my dad only came to see me now and then. My gran passed away when I was 21 of cancer and I was her carer. I stayed on at school and I went to college. I also had 3 different jobs. I also have a partner 30 years older than me however we don’t live together. I suffer with depression and anxiety. I live in a really old grubby apartment and I tried to get back to work but keep taking severe attacks in the workplace. I am living .on welfare/benefit payouts of £300 per month. I can barely afford to get by. I don’t drive and I have no kids. I feel no one understands and can provide me the support or help I need. I am awaiting psychotherapy. I feel I am losing hope. I can’t see how my life can ever move on from this and get better.
- 9 months ago
No, you're not a failure. You've been through a lot and hopefully that means that soon things will get much better. I hope you get the help you need, look after yourself.
- JeancommunicatesLv 710 months ago
Your not a failure and your hope is in the Lord Jesus Christ. Read the Bible and stand on God's promises for you and let the Lord guide you by His Holy Spirit. The Lord is our Hope, Our Healer and I have found that in my most troubling times it helps just to say, "Praise You Heavenly Father, Praise Your Holy Name, Jesus." There is something about praising the Lord and singing praises to Him that gets Him to respond. When we call unto the Lord enough times and when we stand on His promises, He will always act in our favor.
- 10 months ago
Not to worry go see a doctor you will be fine
- Anonymous10 months ago
Yup. You are a failure.
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- AnnLv 710 months ago
You are absolutely not a failure--you stepped up when your grandmother needed you, because she had taught you about love, compassion, and responsibility. You are already a success because of that. Now--I'm assuming you live in the U.K. I don't know what the educational possibilities are there, but since you've already been to college, that can open some doors for you. I don't know what your skills are nor what things you enjoy, but since you've already proven yourself to be a good caretaker, would it be possible for you to go to nursing school or to become a medical technician? That would give you a better quality of life. I would also recommend that you get some counseling therapy to help you deal with your anxiety and depression. Join a group that enjoys a hobby you would like. That would give you a circle of friends. Don't limit yourself and don't feel you're a failure, because you're not. Good luck to you.
- LayneLv 510 months ago
No, you are good and you have been through so much. Too much really. And I feel so sad and I know you are a winner.
- justinLv 610 months ago
I care. im sorry... God is testing you to care. to want the best for everyones soul love god and love good peopel when its hard. If I cna help send me a mesage my kik is gerberstuffbabies my email firstname.lastname@example.org or usa my text now number is 717 516 0310 and my facebook is camaro elfyboy with a pink sword art online anime picture. Depresion is a disease and u must fight back. I've been thru this, know many friends who are working thru it with my help. u must see thru this illusion . If I didn't care I wouldnt bother replying . Therfore I do care . Therfore i want u to reply. For me accepting that god loves me and wants the best for me and pushing away/blocking negative thoughts and feelings helps alot. Create a rubber band like forcefield within the center of ur mind and use it to push slowly but forcefully all the negativity out of ur mind. Pull urself within this rubber band force field and use it to create some space inside that u can have hope and faith that god will make right all wrongs if u can. Another trick is to put things in perspective. To see the world and ur life as a short temporary schooling for ur soul where u whould try to learn what u cna when u are here cause afterwards is an eternity of perfect bliss and good things. if u cna do it right it often will make u feel ur negativity melt away. All pain and suffering will be reimbursed he told me and it will not be a 1 to 1 ratio but 100 to 1. some pain types differ like oppression which is even more so. So do not allow the sadness to win.
- Anonymous10 months ago
Your purpose in life is much greater than your own personal happiness.
You didn't make yourself, so you can't tell yourself why you were made.
The greatest philosphers of all time were only guessing as to the meaning of life.
The saddest thing that can ever happen to a person is to go to their grave never knowing why they were here. To find out what your purpose is, you have to go to your Maker and ask. Do so humbly and sincerely and you are guaranteed to get your answer.
- pattyLv 710 months ago
get some books on depression etc
- 10 months ago
The result is always the same: Every time you fall short of achieving your goal, you fall back to being self-critical. Then it’s difficult, if not impossible, to let go of all that negativity, which is a serious drain on your motivation. As I mentioned in my last post, Want to Better Yourself? Start Here, getting to know yourself well can not only inform you about what you need to do to change, but it can also open you up to approaching yourself in a more positive way. Sometimes, though, people need to do more to help boost their morale. They need to directly build self-acceptance.
When people hold a negative perception of themselves, it is not surprising that they feel quickly defeated when faced with challenges. Each obstacle, mistake, or failure can seem like proof of what they already know – that they won’t succeed and that they are not okay. If this describes you, it is important that you prioritize learning to value yourself.
Focus on valuing who you are, not what you do. When people look to their accomplishments to validate that they are worthy, their sense of feeling good about themselves rides on those accomplishments. So, if you perform well, you will feel good about yourself. If you perform poorly, your will feel less worthy. But you are more than your accomplishments. Just as every infant is born into this world as a worthy human being, you are worthy just for being you.
You can achieve this sense of self-acceptance by looking both within yourself and to your relationships:
The power within you. Research has shown that when people reflect upon their “true selves” (including traits they believe they have even if they don’t show them), they gain a greater sense of well-being and perceive more meaning in their lives.
You can test this out by arranging for some undisturbed time to think about your values and those traits that you feel characterize “the real you.” When you imagine expressing them, they will feel “right.” After some time thinking about this, reflect on how you feel about yourself. (You might even want to pause and do this right now.) You will most likely find that you feel good about yourself. This is the feeling you want to nurture.
Make a daily practice of doing this exercise in benign and positive circumstances – not in the middle of an emotional crisis. With time, you will find that you feel better about yourself (that you have greater self-acceptance) even when life is not working out as planned.
The power of relationships. People are social creatures and relationships offer us support in both practical and emotional ways. In healthy relationships, others generally view you positively – even though they might have different opinions than you or be upset with you about specific situations. By being open to their positive ways of perceiving you and their good feelings about you, you are nurturing a greater sense of self-acceptance.
You might find it helpful to identify truly supportive and compassionate friends – those who express a positive regard for you. Pick one person and think about what they seem to value about you. If you don’t know, consider asking that person directly. As you think about this, allow yourself to really take in the positive messages. If you find yourself rejecting the message, remind yourself that they really do see you in these ways. Then, once again, practice allowing yourself to take in the positive feedback. Once you can let it sink in, go through this process for each friend.