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Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 8 months ago

Okay what do you think about this idea, serious answers!?

I know it’s my life, but I need some serious opinions about this and this ideology I have. I’m 17 and the topic of marriage has been going around my family since my cousin is getting married, but the thing is that my cousin is 18 and the girl is 16, the girl is pregnant now. That made me think that my cousin made a commitment on the spot, the moment the girl got pregnant with his child. I mean it’s their life, but I mean I wouldn’t want that for myself. I have dreams and I want to be someone in my life, I have aspirations and possibly make a family someday, but I don’t get how people just do things like that, like if you’re going to have sexual relations at least use protection. But that isn’t really my question. What I’m getting at, is that, is it bad if I don’t want to marry someone in my community, that I want to marry from other nation like Europe or Asia. I think of this because every person in my family(cousins), like almost ALL of them, are getting marry to the first guy they meet, and the guys are drug addicts. They leave the girl with kids and the girl just takes care of kids her entire life. I know I’m rambling, but I feel that I don’t want to limit myself to just one guy, there exist millions of humans in this world. Why do people just settle for what it’s to their reach. Also I really love Chinese, Japanese, and Korean people they’re really kind people, the ones that I have met. Would it be bad to marry into a Japanese person?

4 Answers

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  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    8 months ago

    Yikes! Your cousin's situation is a tragedy. The marriage is just to assuage the public scorn the families feel because apparently you live in a religious part of the country. But if you're 17 now these two will be divorced before you're old enough to drink legally. You can rise above your quaint family and marry whomever you wish when you're really old enough to make that decision (which is around 25 in case you're not familiar with brain development). You sound like the kind of person who needs to leave this close knit community to go to college in another state so you can observe how normal people live.

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  • 8 months ago

    one - yes it is bad of you to assume all in your community are unable to have a mature,caring relationship with another. That is strangely a form of bigotry.

    two - to assume that any individual man from somewhere or anywhere else could be the right one just because they come from somewhere else if foolish. Good people and bad people (or people who make poor choices) are everywhere all over the world.

    Better to make sure YOU become a mature person who knows what tey want, how to go about it, and then waits to find the RIGHT partner to share your life with, if you choose to go that way. Just don't rule out some because of where they come from, not accept them just because you think where their from makes them a better person.

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  • Anonymous
    8 months ago

    You've got a good head on your shoulders. You shouldn't even be thinking about children until you have graduated college, have a career, and are married. At the least, you should have a well paying job to take care of yourself and be married before kids. If you decide to stay at home, that's fine. But, if you want this, you need to protect yourself by using birth control and condoms. Do not ever count on the man to do it. And, you need to be attracted to the man you decide to marry. If you find a good looking Japanese man great, but there are good men all over, just hard to find. You're not going to find one at 18 more than likely. Men usually want to settle down after they have a good career, in their late 20's to their late 30's. Best wishes to you.

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  • Anonymous
    8 months ago

    What you have to remember is that it is your life and you are entitled to be with whoever you want to be with. So many people make the mistake of taking into account superficial factors surrounding a person when getting into a relationship with them. The most important thing when forming a relationship with someone is that you share chemistry with that person. This comes about through getting to know them and sharing experiences. Hence, it is absolutely important that you enjoy being around whoever it you are with regardless of what culture they are from. I really hope this helps :)

    Source(s): Would you say that you have been pressured or feel pressure about getting into a relationship with someone who you aren't attracted to?
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