Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 5 months ago

Is My Mom Toxic?

I'm 17, so I've been living with my mom my whole life. She's a very headstrong woman, and got very far in life despite being given very little as a child. She got married to my dad through an arranged marriage of her choice, and had me and my little sister. My mom does basically everything for us, and I'm very grateful for that. Through my life in school, however, there are a lot of things that I realise my mom has done that my friends find appalling? I used to get beaten with anything my parents could get their hands on, but that stopped when I started middle school. Right after she beat me, she would tell me that it's for my own good. As I grew older this was replaced with scolding that could leave my ears ringing for a good half hour. Now it comes to a point where she's always shouting, always saying I'm useless, always telling me i'm not good enough or I'm ungrateful. She constantly reminds me of the sacrifices she's made for me, like what school she chose to put me in. I understand that it's costly, and that's why I do my best to get straight A's, but she acts like it was my choice to be put there. She's always joyful, and extremely patient with her coworkers and friends, but with us, all it takes is a second too long to reply and she goes off like we slapped her in the face. I love her very much, but sometimes she makes me wish I'd never been born at all.

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  • 5 months ago

    what a spoiled brat you are

    You got smacked and that's what good parents do. They smack their kids. And those kids grow into better people for it and its LEGAL. The law is very clear that a parent can smack their kids

    Being scolded is not abuse. Ever. You clearly deserve it

    She does make a lot of sacrifices but you mouth off and act spoiled

    • ChocoLavi5 months agoReport

      Lmao I never said it was abuse... and I don’t know how you got that I “mouth off and act spoiled” just from that question. I was genuinely asking, and let me remind you that toxic parents does not mean abusive parents

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  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    5 months ago

    sounds like it and if shes being abusive call cps

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  • Jerry
    Lv 6
    5 months ago

    "Mom, I love you. And you're right to chew me out when I mess up. But I'm starting to feel like you're eager to give me discredit when I do poorly yet reluctant to give credit when I do well. It's like you don't like me anymore or something. That hurts."

    • Ana
      Lv 6
      5 months agoReport

      Liar false prophet in regards to your comment on my post

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  • 5 months ago

    I suggest you do your own reading and come up with your own conclusions based on your intimate knowledge of your moms behavior and your interactions with her.

    Google and read on:

    Toxic mom

    Toxic family

    Abusive relationships

    Emotional and psychological abuse

    Good luck.

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  • 5 months ago

    She is abusive. Speak to your father or school counselor about this

    • ChocoLavi5 months agoReport

      My father isn't around much, and my school counselor would just talk to my mom, and if she found out that I was telling people about her...I don't think it would be good for anyone. Thank you though!

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  • Anonymous
    5 months ago

    I know you’re young so you’re not going to understand it, but your mom is doing what’s best for you.

    There’s a reason that you go to a good school, get straight A’s, and have a great and bright future. Because your mom disciplines you.

    I don’t know your religion- but Judaism, Christianity and Islam have one main thing in common: THEY ALL AGREE, that “if you spare the rod, then you spoil the child”. In other words, when a child misbehaves, it actually benefits your child to be spanked and otherwise disciplined, so they learn to have respect for others, respect for themselves, respect for society, and learn hard work and good habits and good behavior that will help them in life.

    You can be friends with your friends, but that doesn’t make them “Saviors” etc. They aren’t suddenly all-knowing, brilliant philosophers just bcuz they’re your friends. They’re still spoiled kids who are still growing up and don’t know sh^t yet.

    My parents disciplined me hard. I make $200,000k a year

    Source(s): I’m 28 years old btw. Not “old” by any stretch. I’m still in my 20’s. So I’m not an old fart or anything. But I definitely am glad my parents disciplined me, especially my dad. There’s a reason that the saying “LISTEN TO YOUR ELDERS” is so famous. Because it’s true. Younger people generally don’t know sh^t. Or at least, they know less and have less wisdom and life experience than older people do. It’s the same reason why young idiots voted for Bernie Sanders or Hillary instead of Trump or Cruz. Because they don’t know anything about anything yet. Now we have the best economy in history and people still blame the wrong people and give credit to the wrong people. Because they don’t know jack. When I met my wife, at first she thought my stereotypes were offensive, etc about various groups of people. (I own a business and she helps me run it.) After she got a year or two’s experience, she started agreeing with my stereotypes 100% bcuz she LEARNED! She GOT THAT LIFE EXPERIENCE!
  • 5 months ago

    She sounds self righteous too me. She came from nothing so she thinks the entire world including her family should worship the ground she walks on. This is a common problem with people who have worked hard to achieved a good life against the odds. They think they are better than others in society. When it comes too you, her abusive behavior is unacceptable. She is clearly overbearing and way to militant, not nurturing enough. I would say yes that is a very toxic combination.

    • ChocoLavi5 months agoReport

      I don't know if it's abusive because getting beaten is quite normal in asian culture, but thank you!

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