Is My Mom Toxic?

I'm 17, so I've been living with my mom my whole life. She's a very headstrong woman, and got very far in life despite being given very little as a child. She got married to my dad through an arranged marriage of her choice, and had me and my little sister. My mom does basically everything for us, and... show more I'm 17, so I've been living with my mom my whole life. She's a very headstrong woman, and got very far in life despite being given very little as a child. She got married to my dad through an arranged marriage of her choice, and had me and my little sister. My mom does basically everything for us, and I'm very grateful for that. Through my life in school, however, there are a lot of things that I realise my mom has done that my friends find appalling? I used to get beaten with anything my parents could get their hands on, but that stopped when I started middle school. Right after she beat me, she would tell me that it's for my own good. As I grew older this was replaced with scolding that could leave my ears ringing for a good half hour. Now it comes to a point where she's always shouting, always saying I'm useless, always telling me i'm not good enough or I'm ungrateful. She constantly reminds me of the sacrifices she's made for me, like what school she chose to put me in. I understand that it's costly, and that's why I do my best to get straight A's, but she acts like it was my choice to be put there. She's always joyful, and extremely patient with her coworkers and friends, but with us, all it takes is a second too long to reply and she goes off like we slapped her in the face. I love her very much, but sometimes she makes me wish I'd never been born at all.
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