Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsWeddings · 5 months ago

Fiance’s Mum promised us his grandmother’s ring when we married but gave it to her daughter in law, can I ask for it back?

When my fiance’s Grandmother died, his mum, Anna, promised him and his brother Jo one of their grandmothers rings to give to their future spouse and were allowed to pick one. He chose a sparkly sapphire one, it’s gorgeous.

When Jo got married, he and his wife Jess had their rings stolen the night before the wedding as someone had broken into their house. In their typical fashion, neither were particularly bother about it because it was just a thing and to them it was more important to get married. At the wedding before Jess came down the aisle, Anna gave the best man (Jo’s best friend) one of the rings she was wearing - my ring!

Jo has tried to give Jess the ring he chose, but she told Anna to keep hold of it because she often wears it and it’s incredibly sentimental to her as it was her mother’s engagement ring with the tiniest diamond I’ve ever seen. It’s now written in her will that Jess will get that ring.

I really don’t think this is fair that Jess has ended up with two of the rings and I don’t have anything. It was promised to us, it shouldn’t have gone to Jess. Jess and Anna are very close. I’ve tried getting to know Anna but she always comes me to Jess which isn’t fair, I don’t have the world falling at me feet because I’m beautiful and blonde. Anna and I have also had a falling out because she thought we were rushing into marriage at 25 despite Jo and Jess married at 21.

Can I ask for it back or ask them to replace it? We can’t afford to buy a new ring

17 Answers

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  • 5 months ago

    It is time to step back and stop pining over a ring. Material objects which cause so much drama are not worth all of the trouble.

    Just go out and buy your own ring. Stop this drama.

    Life is not always fair, so pull up your bloomers and carry on without resentment and petty fights over a ring.

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  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    5 months ago

    You're being incredibly petty about heirlooms that aren't even yours to discuss. This isn't your family (yet) and you've got no business telling them what to do with their cherished jewelry. If you can't afford a ring you can't afford to get married. That's pretty much just common knowledge. Back off before you so insult this family that your fiancé pulls the plug on you. You're coming off as very materialistic.

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  • Ocimom
    Lv 7
    5 months ago

    No. His mum had the choice of who got the ring. She may have promised you it, but changed her mine. Your fiancé' should buy you a wedding ring.

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  • Kelly
    Lv 7
    5 months ago

    No, that is her ring now. Promising you something isn't the same as giving it to you.

    Who has been together longer, older and anything else is irrelevant.

    You'll have to do what most people do when they get married, buy their own ring.

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  • GEEGEE
    Lv 7
    5 months ago

    You cannot but Anna's son, your eventual spouse, can ask about a ring, some ring, for you. Not necessarily the ring you originally were promised, since that was given to someone else. Unfortunately life isn't fair. If it were, there would have been no theft, and you likely would have gotten the ring as promised.

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  • Lita
    Lv 6
    5 months ago

    No, you cannot ask for it back. It may have been promised to your fiancee but that doesn't mean it's yours yet and you aren't entitled to ask for it back. You certainly cannot ask them to replace it. They did nothing wrong here.

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    • Lita
      Lv 6
      5 months agoReport

      It was a verbal promise, not a legal promise. As Beatrice pointed out it's not a binding agreement. Adults buy their own rings.

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  • 5 months ago

    I know about being promised something when someone passes away...you have no right to expect anything but thank God someone Loves you enough to think of you...even if you didnt get to keep the rings lesson learned. Nothing in life is free and nobody lives for free everything seems to come at a cost few things dont. Maybe you can make an inexpensive purchase for a previously owned ring somehow. Good Luck and congratulations.

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  • drip
    Lv 7
    5 months ago

    Your fiancé needs to deal with his family. Not you. It was up to him to ask his mother for the one of the rings,

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  • 5 months ago

    What happened to the insurance money for the theft of the first ring? Perhaps you could get and use some of this money to buy a ring. But that would be up to your fiance to ask for from his mom, not you.

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  • 5 months ago

    The ring is Anna's to do with whatever she wishes. Understandable that she stepped in at the last moment with the ring when everything was stolen before the wedding. You aren't a friend of Anna. Jess has made herself amiable to Anna whilst you haven't. You could talk to Anna about your misery over this particular ring and see what she decides to do. You don't have a legal leg to stand on and it's a shame that you want a family feud between brothers over a piece of jewellery.

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