Feedback for Original Work: "Take My Hand! Please..."?

Will you tell me that you love me

Just so I can run away?

And the things you want to hear

So I know just what not to say?

Will you be my light in darkness

I will use to blind my eyes?

And the warmth when I am freezing

So I burn myself alive?

Be a shoulder I can lean on

'Til you crumple to the floor;

Give me everything I wanted

So that I can ask for more.

I have lived not many years yet,

Still I've come to understand

Not to bear another's judgment

Who would choose to hold my hand.

2 Answers

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  • 5 months ago

    No thanks ..........

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  • 5 months ago

    Not to rain on your parade (which means I'm going to), but that reads like a very bad parody of song lyrics from the Singer-Songwriter Era of the late 60's-mid 70's. Laura Nyro, Leonard Cohen, Janis Ian, James Taylor, Carole King, Joni Mitchell, et. al. They wrote songs that often had very strong emotional content, but just as often were quite hokey.

    What you got there is what Mel Brooks might produce if he were to a takedown on that era.

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