My son is getting married...?
I am a proud father of a 20 year old who is going to marry his girlfriend.
I wasn't prepared for this. What should I do before his wedding?
P.S. his fiance is a girl who loves cars
- JerryLv 710 months agoFavorite Answer
Take an interest in getting to know your future daughter in law, in meeting her family. Invite her parents over for a casual (less stress) meal or to join your for breakfast, lunch, a casual supper at a restaurant. You pick up the tab.
Be clear about how much financial help (if any) you will give the young couple with paying for a wedding, a honeymoon, with setting up housekeeping together. Along with that be clear about what you expect in return.
Let the couple know early on if there are people you'd like them to invite for you. If they're paying for the wedding themselves, you may have to accept that your favorite cousin won't be invited. But if you're making a significant financial contribution, then you might want to make that conditional on being allotted a certain number of guest slots to fill as you please.
If the couple makes a choice you don't like, a choice like "adults only" or "no dates, serious couples only" then support them in that choice. Or at least don't undermine then by making your disagreement public. Put aside ALL family squabbles; your family should be presenting a united front to the bride's family and to the public.
Be prepared to answer questions like "What gift might the couple appreciate?" and "How dressed up should I get" in the way the couple would wish you to answer such questions without volunteering your own views on the wisdom or appropriateness of their wish list, their dress code. It's not YOUR wedding.
It's an old custom for the groom's family to host the rehearsal and a rehearsal dinner. Discuss with the couple whether you will be following this old custom, what exactly your are or are not willing to do. For example a rehearsal can be restricted to only those with something to rehearse or can include parents, attendants' spouses, the couple's siblings, out of town visitors, or whoever you'd care to include. For example the rehearsal dinner can be as simple as a cold cut and veggie platter you bring to the rehearsal place or as lavish as supper at a luxe restaurant.
At the ceremony and celebration, subordinate your own desire to have a good time to your helpful impulses. Help the couple accept gifts and keep track of who gave what. Rescue wall flowers and make introductions. Dance with the ladies. Be alert and do what you can to make the party a success, to relieve the couple of stress.
If you want to go "above and beyond" then offer to help the couple with their thank you letters.
Be understanding when your son starts doing some things the way his wife's family does them instead of the way he was brought up. For a marriage to succeed it must be a blend of both family's ways of doing things, not everything in the way your family does them. For example if your son asks you to stop coming over without calling first, then do that.
- AnnLv 710 months ago
As the father of the groom, I would hope you have a good relationship with your son. You should be talking to him about financial matters of running a household and about planning his life. If you "aren't prepared" for him to be married, then it says that maybe you don't consider him an adult but still a child. Think about that. As far as the wedding is concerned, your side (the groom's family) is responsible for hosting the rehearsal dinner the night before the wedding. You might ask your son and his fiancee about choices for a restaurant. Also, your son will be responsible for paying for the honeymoon, if they have one. The bride's family pays for wedding expenses; however, you could offer to help with costs of the reception and maybe for some of the groomsmen's attire. It sounds as if you have some catching up to do, Dad.
- dripLv 710 months ago
What do you mean what do you do?
Are you referring to the fact is is so young to marry??? You want he to wait?
Or what is your role for the wedding? You ask if there is anything you can do to help. Offering to pay for the rehearsal dinner is traditional.
- TrishLv 510 months ago
Have a talk with him tell him how happy you are for him and offer to help with details of the wedding. Get to know his fiance offer advice and guidance and support and celebrate.
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- sunshine_melLv 710 months ago
'What should I do before his wedding?' - in what way?
Are you thinking short or long term? Helping with the wedding costs? Gifts?
Too vague a question to be much help.
- Anonymous10 months ago
there's nothing you can do... ? not sure what you're asking? lol
- BeatriceBattenLv 710 months ago
You don’t have to do anything.
Just ask if they’d like you to wear a specific tuxedo or suit. And ask when and where to be on the wedding day and make sure you show up on time.
Beyond that, If you want to help then ask them if you can help. If you want to offer money I suggest you be very specific about the amount and what you may expect/hope them to use it for.
If you want to be “traditional” then you can offer to pay for the rehearsal dinner, but this is not required.
- Ender772Lv 710 months ago
wait until they are 21...
- CatherineLv 610 months ago
Every day before? How should we know?
- KISS MY GRITSLv 610 months ago
go to the wedding