Dear Sir or Madman
I inform you that Corey Lewandowski has hired me as his lawyer to protect him from haters and agitators like yourself.
Corey was very upset and angry when he read this, he had a guy trace your address and he wanted to send some guys over to give you a "massage" but I managed to talk him out of it.
You do not know what this guy is capable of when he's angry.
I once saw him bite off a guys junk in a bar fight, then he froze it solid in liquid nitrogen and stabbed the guy in the eye with it.
Only yesterday I watched him eat an entire live duck for breakfast, including the beak, feathers and feet.
Get the picture?
A civil suit of $US50 million could be lodged against you for persecution and victimisation against my highly respected client, I have only to sign the paperwork.
Unfortunately for you I also represent the grown up Doug Neidermeyer who contacted me and advised me to lodge a $US25 million defamation suit for wickedness and bastardry against him.
This guy really knows how to hold a grudge.
So that will be $US75 million in total, please make a 10% downpayment by close of business Friday.
I would not want to have to send a bounty hunter out after you.
Have a pleasant day.