Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 2 months ago

I don't know what to feel in this situation, should I feel bad?

I am a 27 year old female. Recently, I got to thinking about the future. The reason I thought about this is because I had a dream about this guy I used to go to high school with, he is single. I just decided to look him up and some other friends from high school and a huge majority of my friends are married or in serious relationships.

I am single at the moment and nowhere near marriage or a long term relationship. Even my mom thought I would be married by now too. Although I have no real desire to have children, I would like to get some type of relationship going. Sometimes when I see my friends are married, I feel like left out or I feel like I am going to be lonely forever. I am very attractive but it's a matter of where to find "the one" guy that I can see myself with. Some days it doesn't bother me at all to be independent, other days I think about it more and feel so weird.

I don't know what to feel. Should I feel bad about this?

14 Answers

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  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    At 27 you're hardly a spinster yet so I wouldn't panic. Never gauge your own life success by what others are doing. Chances are as a singleton you have a lot more time than they do to earn money, advance in your career and spend on your own priorities without having to consider another person. So don't be envious because in a lot of cases I bet some of your friends are looking at you and envying your freedom.

  • 2 months ago

    You should not ever feel bad about this. Dont look back live in the moment.

  • 2 months ago

    You really shouldn't. From the sounds of it, you weren't feeling bad or self conscious at all until you went on social media and compared yourself others.

    And that's exactly what happens when you compare yourself to a highlight reel. Social media showcases all the good, picturesque moments of someone else's life without telling the whole story. For all we know, some of these relationships you are looking at might be rife with misery or abuse or whatever else- but you can't tell from the pictures.

    You are on your own path. As long as you are being true to yourself and doing what you love, that's all that matters. Stay away from the highlight reel comparisons.

  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    It's common to react the way you are, esp when comparing yourself to high school or college friends. It's also a quick trip to nowhere!

    When people are single and do want to find someone, they make the mistake of assuming that every married person is happy. Meanwhile, I can almost guarantee some of these people are envious of YOU. If they got married young (like 22) they robbed themselves of the unique fun of being independent, free and answerable to no one.

    You don't sound at all unhappy with your life and choices. It was more a random event that caused you to 2nd guess them and then compare. Don't do this! You've got plenty of time. My college roomie went to law school and didn't get married until 33. Now she's got 2 adorable little girls, a great husband and a perfect life. She waited for the right guy.

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  • Pam
    Lv 5
    2 months ago

    No, you absolutely should NOT feel bad about being single and attractive at 27. What seems to be happening are that OTHER PEOPLE'S OPINIONS are affecting the way you feel about your own situation. Buf for their unsolicited opinions, it appears that you would be perfectly happy with your life as it is. Try not feel left out when you see your married friends because married people tend to put on airs and act happier than they really are in front of their single friends. But secretly, they could be envious of YOUR freedom and singleness to be beautiful and do whatever you want. When you go to sleep tonight, wake up tomorrow with a new attitude that says you don't give a damn what people think is good for you because You're the boss of you and you're happy with your life. The man will come when you least expect and where you least expect so just be your fabulous self and let them all be haters, as long as they watch as you walk away. lol

  • 2 months ago

    we do tend to compare ourselves to our friends. And we normally have feelings about that good or bad. But - life is not a race to be like all your friends as the same time they are like you. Be contented with who you are and follow your goals you have time for a relationship and can develop it in your time.

  • 2 months ago

    Why do you think you HAVE to feel anything other than what you actually do feel? Why are you looking at other people for validation of your own feelings. You sound happy enough as you are. You are single and presumably have a comfortable life and aren't particularly interested in having kids. Sounds like you want to please your mother who 'expects' you to marry and produce grand-children and you feel a little left out because your friends are all shacking up and marrying etc. Is THAT what you REALLY want?....or are you perhaps trying to want it to please everyone else? Are you lonely? You've got a friend-group presumably from school/Uni so they've been around for a few years. You should also make new friends for all of your life. Do it constantly and you'll end up with friends of all ages and not just those you are in a sort of 'competition' with. Join groups and classes/gym/solo holidays etc....where you will meet other single people of all ages so you widen your circle and then you may form a relationship that is to YOUR liking......not just for the sake of it. With a load of other single friends, you are never going to be lonely even if you don't end up with a 'conventional' partnership. Good luck

  • dman63
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    There’s nothing to feel bad about. You’re simply getting older, and your priorities are changing. When you were a little younger, you might not have been interested in (or ready for) a serious relationship or marriage. You’re probably a little more secure about yourself, and you’ve finished school and working. That’s when you might start asking yourself “what else is there?” For myself, I was around the same age as you when I met my wife, and she was a girl I’d seen around in high school but never got to know until long after I’d graduated. Don’t worry about your peers. Some marry earlier in life, and while it works for some people, I wouldn’t be surprised if more than a few are divorced before they’re 40.

  • kristy
    Lv 6
    2 months ago

    No, don’t feel bad

  • 2 months ago

    yes. you must apologize

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