Should I get a dog or cat?

Here's my life: (1) I work 8 hours a day, can't go home for lunch. (2) I sleep 12 hours a day when i don't work. And I am not gonna wake up and take my pet out to pee. (3) I travel during summer, once or twice, and each time for a week or 2 weeks, and i don't wanna pay for daycare. (4) I have... show more Here's my life:
(1) I work 8 hours a day, can't go home for lunch.
(2) I sleep 12 hours a day when i don't work. And I am not gonna wake up and take my pet out to pee.
(3) I travel during summer, once or twice, and each time for a week or 2 weeks, and i don't wanna pay for daycare.
(4) I have bipolar( I have high energy days and low energy days), but for most of days I'll hit the gym after work then i just wanna watch tv. I am ok with taking it for a walk for 30 mins A DAY.
(5) I'm selfish. When it's cold outside, it'll be HUGE struggle for me to take my pet for a walk.
(6) I have the financial ability to send my pets to the vet if they were sick.
(7) I HATE it when dog barks for more than 30 seconds.
(8) I know I said I have high and low energy days, but if i was getting a dog, I want a lab or bull terrior, none of those chihuahua girly dogs. If it was a cat I want grey british shorthair.
(9) I live in an apt that allows pets, but for $50 a month though.

Which one should I get? Or should I just get a flower or a fish or something easy to take care of?
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