I'm starting to hate the guy I love because he's christian, why is my mind so messed up?

Don't misunderstand me, I'm not some fanatic muslim girl, I'm nothing even that religious. The problem is that as a child I was badly mistreated by christian family members (they were actually muslim who married christians and converted) and from my classmates (I was the only muslim girl in a class... show more Don't misunderstand me, I'm not some fanatic muslim girl, I'm nothing even that religious. The problem is that as a child I was badly mistreated by christian family members (they were actually muslim who married christians and converted) and from my classmates (I was the only muslim girl in a class full of christians). I dont even look like muslim, people would often ask me if I'm eastern european or greek. Anyway I started secretly hating all christian people. Then I fell in love with a guy of my country, who happens to be christian and it's all so wrong, I dont even want to develop feelings for him. On one side I like him because he's everything I have ever wanted, on the other side I hate him so much because the only guy I have loved has the same faith of the people who treated me like an animal. I am so mad about it sometimes I want to hurt him on purpose, I want to shout insults at him because he's a damn christian. As a child I was quite accepting and tolerant because of the upbringing of my parents, who are good and honest people, but after what happened (cousins thinking they were better than me cause they converted and had children with christians, muslim grandma giving money for christmas to my christian cousins but ignoring muslim festivities, kids at school hating me and making me an outcast because of my religion), I start to hate him and wish I could hurt him.
Update: But I cant because I love him. I tried to stay away from him but he keeps on coming back and holds me tight when I cry telling him I hate him because he belongs to the bad side, that I curse him, he just hugs me and takes the insults without saying a word, wipes off my tears. Sometimes he would even joke about... show more But I cant because I love him. I tried to stay away from him but he keeps on coming back and holds me tight when I cry telling him I hate him because he belongs to the bad side, that I curse him, he just hugs me and takes the insults without saying a word, wipes off my tears. Sometimes he would even joke about converting himself and says
Update 2: 'will they cut it even at this age? shouldn't it be forbidden?'. I dobt know what to do. The guy I wish could save me from the bad people is actually one of them. Prince charming is from the wrong side
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