Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsEngagements & Weddings · 3 months ago

He loves me very much but doesn't want to be with me because I'm not fit.?

We've been together for 10months. We met online, shared pics but haven't met yet. We both are crazy about eachother. There hasn't been a day we haven't talked. Our day starts with a call and ends with call. Since we met, he kept telling me that he wants me to be fit. I kept postponing our meeting bcos I wanted to meet him when I get fit the way he wanted. I've tried reducing once and it was lot easier because I wasn't working then. But now since I'm working, it has become difficult to concentrate. My moods keep changing everyday. I've tried to fix it quick but failed. Hes very cute and handsome guy and I know he loves me very much. The chemistry is great. Recently I got to know that hes very serious about it. He said he doesn't want to be with me if I stay unfit. He said he might sound shallow, but he can't help it. He also said that he expects me to stay fit always so that he can be attracted to me. I feel so offended by it. Don't tell me to leave him, bcos hes really very nice guy and I'm head over heels in love with him. Hes very loyal and we are always on call. So I know I can trust him. How can we resolve this issue?. How can I balance it out and find a middle ground? Hes getting angry bcos we haven't met, but I don't feel confident enough bcos of what he expects from me. I feel more nervous than excited to meet him. At the sametime, I can't wait to kiss him. Totally confused.

29 Answers

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  • 3 months ago

    No one can guarantee they will meet someone's ideal, but I think a consistent diet and fitness plan will show him you care. 

  • Anonymous
    3 months ago

    A person who loves you will never ask you to change. I know where you are coming from being in an online relationship. Those who have never met someone online cannot speak on that. The internet is the future of everything. I met my boyfriend online and we have been together for nearly 2 1/2 years. The difference is that he has never ever asked me to change a thing about myself. He is crazy about every little detail on me, even though I am far from being super fit and perfect. There is no such thing as perfect. He loves me for me and that is the way that it should be. My heart breaks for you, hun. Keep pushing but don’t settle for anything less than you deserve. You are worth so much more.

  • 3 months ago

    then he does not love YOU, just some vague idea of a fantasy woman

  • 3 months ago

    Yes, totally confused is right! Obviously you haven't been in a real relationship before. This guy is a jerk! He doesn't love you he's playing you. I really hope you find true love with someone before you meet this guy. He's not a really nice guy & he's not loyal. Sorry, but you deserve better!

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  • 3 months ago

    you should NEVER change cuz a guy/or someone/anyone...wants you to be a certain way* If they don't like/love you for who you are NOW....then they're not worth your time ¬ You're trying to lose weight, n then keep it off because if not he'll break up with you*............Ok..so say you lost all that weight u want to lose, n ur working out everyday..n looking mighty fine.................then will he come up with something else he's not too keen on with you or your body and change that to please him?? a boob job? perhaps he may think ur nose is a bit too big, will u get a nose job to make HIM happy?................U HAVE TO WANT TO LOSE weight for YOU, to live a healthier life..NOT BECAUSE SOME GUY YOU'VE NOT EVEN MET WANTS YOU TO!???

    n YES he IS being a very SHALLOW person by demanding u lose this weight n u keep it off or he'll be done with you (like a bag of garbage)............Say BYE BYE BYE to him NOW*................and if U WANT to lose weight, You can work on it..but only because YOU WANT TO , not because some guy is wanting you to*!.n by the way...that's not LOVE*!!!! him wanting to dump you if u don't get fit*..that's controlling n manipulating you...to think you're no good if ur not up to his standards*..........Time u break it off with him you deserve better! someone who will love you for who you are, not try to change you to fit their mold*.........MY OPINION*

  • Anonymous
    3 months ago

    You're obviously Deluded but you're not the first & you certainly won't be the last,,,

    It doesn't matter if you've been chatting & exchanging pics & sweet-talk for Ten Months or Ten Years,,virtually every Online encounter is just another Fantasy Play for nothing but personal entertainment unless &/or until you actually meet somebody in person.

    Being or getting "Fit" is just one among thousands of excuses NOT to meet.

    Your OLR should've been Ghosted months ago!

  • GB
    Lv 5
    3 months ago

    You are in love with love. You are crazy about him because you think he's good looking and fantasize about what you will do. Maybe you have some interests in common that you talk about? It doesn't sound like he thinks you are cute or beautiful, but he wants you to be. (Or fit as he calls it.)

    Some answers give you advice about how to get fit, but I see no evidence that you are unfit. You might just not be photogenic. If you think you might be overweight, see a doctor. If the doctor says your weight is ok, think about whether the clothes yo wear suit you, or get counselling for low self esteem.

    He says he loves you very much. Someone who loves you would want you to feel good about yourself. Do you really think always worrying about looking good enough to please him, will do that? Saying he can't help being shallow, is a cop out for using controlling behaviour towards you. Get together with him and you are likely to end up with anorexia. Tell him you are ending it, because you don't deserve him, but know someone who would be perfect. Then send him a photo of a blow-up doll.

  • GEEGEE
    Lv 7
    3 months ago

    I'd be inclined to get fit for your health, not for some guy who you haven't met yet. You might feel you love him, and that he loves you, but in reality you have no idea. Focus on YOU and either meet him or end the "relationship".

  • Kelly
    Lv 7
    3 months ago

    Sorry but you can't be in love with someone you haven't even met.

    He does sound shallow but in reality it's okay for him to have a preference to what he dates or will be with as well.

    Work is an excuse not to exercise, not a reason. Most people who exercise work. Myself I have a full-time job, I'm married, have 6 kids of my own and 1-2 foster kids on any given day and I still work out. My husband is a Physician, he works a good 70 hours a week, he still works out.

    Someone who loves you accepts you the way you are, but before anyone else can.. you have to. If you were avoiding meeting him, that tells me that you have struggles accepting yourself in your own skin and only you can fix that. I've been significantly overweight, my husband has and always has had an athletic build. When I met him I was around 180lbs and had just lost about 40 pounds. He still accepted me the way I was, never asked me to change anything. I also met him online, but as much as I could try to hide my weight (though I was straight up honest about), he's not blind and well he's a doctor he could tell in pictures. My weight has been up and down throughout our relationship, I've been through 2 pregnancies (one of which was twins) and each way he loved me the way I was. Right now, I'm 44 and in the best physical condition of my life. In my weight loss efforts and struggles the biggest supporter I had/have is my husband.

    Weight loss is 80% dietary and 20% physical. To lose weight, you have to have a calorie deficit and you can't out exercise a poor diet. A healthy diet and lifestyle will help you lose weight. Exercise helps to tone muscle, tighten skin and strengthen your cardiovascular system.

  • 3 months ago

    Stop writing 'bcos' instead of 'because', come up with an actual question, and stop posting anonymously. Do those three things and I'll answer you. Otherwise, we'll just all assume you're a troll.

    • D
      Lv 7
      3 months agoReport

      pretty sure she'll get plenty of answers from other people and isn't just asking you

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