Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Pregnancy & ParentingParenting · 3 months ago

I'm scared my partner will be put off the fact I don't want kids?

So lately he has been hinting about how much he loves kids. He has a daughter with his ex partner and I think she is adorable. He keeps talking about when his ex gave birth and what it is like being a parent and even when I shared a meme on social media saying I prefer children when they are not mine as a joke, he commented on it saying 'oh Damn'. As much as I love kids, thought of pregnancy scares me so much. Me and my mum had a conversation and she said that it might put him off if he is hinting how much he loves kids etc, however I don't want to push him away. what's your opinion? (no nasty comments please)

14 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    3 months ago
    Favorite Answer

    First of all, if you actually like children and wouldn't mind having a child and fear of pregnancy is your main issue, then you need to deal with that fear. There is a big difference between being afraid of pregnancy and just not wanting children at all.

    So, you need to discuss your concerns with him. It is NOT fair to him to continue a relationship when you are not on the same page about family goals.

    Then you need to consider talking to a medical professional about your fears of pregnancy. And, - just to be clear - most women have some level of fear or anxiety for their first pregnancy. The thought of labor and having a baby come out of you can be a scary thought.

  • GEEGEE
    Lv 7
    3 months ago

    He might very well be. Are you married? How long have you been together? You seem more afraid of pregnancy than anything else. I'd be inclined to speak with him about your concerns. If he read your post he is already somewhat aware of your feelings.

  • Anonymous
    3 months ago

    You should have had this conversation with your partner before you ever got married or decided to move in together. Pregnancy and childbirth aren't for every woman. Some of us have legitimate reasons for not getting pregnant or having kids, and those concerns need to be discussed and resolved before any decisions are made regarding living arrangements, finances, etc.

  • edward
    Lv 7
    3 months ago

    I don’t think you don’t want kids, you are afraid of being pregnant. Everyone who has never been pregnant has that kind of fear, normal, you’re basically growing a parasite for 40 weeks, come ripping out of your favourite orifice, feed off your body for months and then live with you for at least 18 years. Personally i like being a father. My wife didn’t seem scared about it after the initial shock of being pregnant, she was like 8 weeks along before she decided she wanted the baby.

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  • 3 months ago

    So talk to him. If you're scared to talk to him, this isn't a viable relationship in the first place.

    If you aren't on the same page, it's better to know now anyway. You each have a right to how you feel about children, and to pursue a relationship where you have similar views.

  • zeno
    Lv 6
    3 months ago

    Always be open and honest him. Tell it like it

    Is. Say I don't want to have kids but if you

    Want you can hire a woman to have them

    For you if you like. Can you help him raise

    Them or is that asking too much? It's your

    Choice what you and he does going forward.

    Good luck.

  • Anonymous
    3 months ago

    The two of you need to have an honest conversation about this. Having children is an area where compromise doesn't work - if one party wants children and the other doesn't, one of them will be miserable and the relationship will end badly. Better to find out where each of you stands and end the relationship now, rather than waiting to fight over it down the road.

  • Caz
    Lv 6
    3 months ago

    Have a straight up conversation with him. Ask him where he's coming from, tell him where you're coming from, work out what you both want and whether those wants are compatible. Guessing, making veiled references and jokes, and talking only to your mother about this is not going to get you any answers.

  • 3 months ago

    I think you need to tell him.

    He has a right to move on if he wants and you have a right to not be pressured

  • Anonymous
    3 months ago

    adoption is another option

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