Anonymous asked in Pregnancy & ParentingAdolescent · 11 months ago

Why won't my dad let me see my mother? I WANT TO SEE HER!?

Okay so my mom left us when I was 5. I've been waiting every night asking when is mommy coming home. My dad told me the truth about her a couple years ago that mom left because she didn't want to be a mother, she can't handle motherhood and decided that she wanted her own life. Plus she did drugs and abuse. My dad said he told my mom either she gets cleaned up or he is gone. So she got her act up and cleaned up. But then two months later she left us. My nom and I have been texting each other. I haven't seen her since I was 5. My dad found out and yelled at me. He took my phone away. I told him I want to see her for the holidays but he quickly said no and he doesn't want me near mom. We have a huge fight and I said, "You just don't want me to have a loving mother and daughter relationship!"

He said to me brutally, "SHE DOESN'T WANT YOU! The fact that your mom left us to have her own life proved that she doesn't want you! I want you to stop texting her. You're doing all the texting. You don't need her. Move on!"

I was shocked and hurt that my dad would said that to me. I'm 16 now. I remember on Mothers Day I hated it because I was the only kid in the class that didn't have a mother around and didn't make a gift.

8 Answers

  • Anonymous
    11 months ago
    Favourite answer

    Go see's your mother.. Give it a shot...

    "When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down ‘happy’. They told me I didn’t understand the assignment, and I told them they didn’t understand life." ~ John Lennon

  • 10 months ago

    I am a mom who lost her kids when one was five. I am so sorry that this happened to you and I pray that you will see your mom soon. It doesn't matter what anyone else says your mom has never stopped thinking about you and I hope that when you get time to sit down and think about it you won't cry because she wouldn't want you too but you'll be happy to know that someday you will get to see her and everything that's happened it the past won't matter anymore because you're together. your dad loves you too and he's only trying to protect you from being hurt and he could be a little jealous after all he's been the one taking care of you after your mom left and you wanting to see her might hurt his feelings. counseling would help you and your dad maintain a good relationship. and when you get your phone back be way more careful and erase your messages right away and put her under a different name. And be careful with your heart little one protect yourself from getting your hopes up to high just be glad for the opportunity to talk to her. i have five kids when my son was 5 he was removed from me my oldest daughter was 7 my 3rd daughter was 1 1/2 and my 4th daughter was taken from the hospital. my oldest is 17 doesn't want to leave w me, my 15 year old son is living with me for the past e months l am going to court on the 15 of oct pray for me to get my 8 year old back my 7 year old doesn't want to come. i will pray for you too

  • 10 months ago

    sometimes its best NOT to get to know one of your parents. she does drugs, she said she didn't want kids and left you for drugs. leopards don't change their spots. and even if she  does get clean she may do the same thing she did before and leave again. and this time it will be harder cause you will remember it and feel neglected. this is 20 kinds of sad. I can relate because my dad was a dirtbag too. the booze was always more important then his kids. apparently something is making him want to be involved in my life. probably cause of guilt. and feeling bad about never spending time with his kids. after the age of 16 my parents divorced and my dad cut me and my brother outta his life. im 31 now, and I am too old for the heartbreak now. and even though he wants to see me now I don't have a desire to see him. the damage has been done and its no long fixable. I gave up a long time ago because it was a lost cause. now I don't have disappointed and don't have to wait and have him pop in and out of my life. I have kids now. my dad is very wishy washy and I would like him to change so he can meet my kids and have a bond with them but then I decided I wasn't gonna put them through what he put me through. family doesn't bail if they truly love you. my moms boyfriend of 10 years is who I see as my true father

  • 11 months ago

    If your mother is doing drugs and other illegal things, and if i were your father, i wouldn't want you around her, either

    Your mother needs to give proof she's not doing drugs and has changed (if she has). She would need to go through a rehab program, get drug tested or whatever a judge in a court of law tells her she needs to do in order to make it so she can see you again. So, if your mother is so hell bent on seeing you, she will go through the process to turn her life around or to prove she has done this (if she has). She'd probably need to discuss it with an attorney.

    I'm sure all this is distressing to you, but if your mom left, was doing drugs and didn't want the responsibilities of being a mother, i'm sure it took a toll on your dad... and i'm sure he's bitter over it.

    I'm not saying that you need to find someone else as a mother figure, but as far as the Mother's Day gift goes, you could have still made one and given it to a woman you admire.

    I'm sorry you're going through all of this.

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  • Logan
    Lv 5
    11 months ago

    Your mother left. She made her choice. Nothing she does now will make up for it. You may want it, that doesn't mean she does. If you're the one doing most of the work in the relationship then your dad is right.

    Either way, drugs, abuse, those kinds of people never stop being selfish. If she cared, she would have stayed, if she cared she wouldn't have continued with drugs. She would have chosen you. She didn't.

    Your dad is reacting that way because he remembers the bulls*t before she left. You were a kid, you won't remember much of anything. He knows more than you.

    Ultimately he doesn't want you to get your hopes up only to be let down when she doesn't live up to expectations. And she won't, you'll spend your life chasing something you'll never get.

  • Anonymous
    11 months ago

    Your dad has a point. I mean why do you wanna see a woman that didn't want you? Do you think it's worth it? She left you and then 11 years later she suddenly wants to talk to you? Just don't expect a miracle. Your dad is just protecting you from that selfish woman.

    Lv 7
    11 months ago

    When you are 18 you can contact who you like without your father's permission.

  • Anonymous
    11 months ago

    You're shocked and hurt because your Dad wants to protect you from this awful woman. You have apparently developed a fantasy about who and what she is. Go ahead, destroy that fantasy - move in with her: don't expect your father to continue supporting you emotionally or financially. In fact, unless your dear mother has been sending money for the past 11 years - he should take her to court for back child support. You certainly show a lot of appreciation to the person who has reared you - - - do him a favor and leave.

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