If I go down the IVF route to have a child, would it be wrong to tell the child the sperm was my late fiancé's which was frozen on his death?
I don't want a man in my life but using IVF means the child can legally seek out their biological father after they are 18. I would hate that. Is it morally wrong to tell my child that lie?
- Emily JLv 79 months agoFavourite answer
Kinda, there are health issues involved that he or she will NEVER know about if you lie to them about who their father really is. You went to the effort to get IVF that should tell them enough w/ out lying about who the actual donor is.
- ron hLv 78 months ago
If you don't want a man in your child's life, don't have a child. Kids need a mother and a father. Because there are women like you, I'd NEVER donate my seed to a stranger.
- Beverly SLv 79 months ago
So better to lie to your child it's whole life?
- KangarooLv 79 months ago
It is wrong to lie to your child about who their father is, yes. 100%, in my opinion.
I'm sure in 18 years time you and your child can investigate this together. It's not a father, just a sperm donor.
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- PippinLv 79 months ago
Well, looking at your other questions, your overall sense of morality is pretty poor.
And when your child asks to see your engagement ring? Pictures of the two of you? Asks to meet her other grandparents? Talks to your parents about her daddy ... what then?
And I'm still unclear why you need IVF at all. Are your tubes blocked? You DO understand what it costs, right? And that doctors don't do it just because you don't have male partner, right? There are cheaper, less rigorous and more effective methods available for that.
- LoganLv 59 months ago
I mean, if it's a lie then it is kinda sh*tty. If the kid finds out they'll be p*ssed so I wouldn't recommend it. Just tell them the truth.
- Katherine WLv 79 months ago
Yes, it's morally wrong. Also, with all the DNA tests available, your child will be able to link up with actual relatives, and possibly the sperm donor, and figure out the truth. Once your kid finds out that one lie, s/he will wonder what else you've lied about. You'll destroy all trust. And why? Because you don't like the idea of a sperm donor? Then don't use one.
- CatherineLv 69 months ago
All lies are morally wrong. That's why they're called lies.
- Campbell HaydenLv 79 months ago
Yes, it is wrong.
End of story.