Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Arts & HumanitiesBooks & Authors · 6 months ago

Describe this for me (10 points)?

Several humans walked down the street with chains tied around their necks, and midgets on their backs holding whips,

as the humans pulled a carriage of children behind them.

(I hate this description. Please make it better)

3 Answers

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  • 6 months ago
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    An enormous herd of humans galloped down the road, immersed in chains that choked them. Tiny circus people followed beind, holding enormous leather whips that stung the enormous asses of their human counterparts. Behing the humans was a massive carriage, filled to the brim with children of various ages, ethnicities, and religions, crying as they were carried by enslaved humans.

    • bluebellbkk
      Lv 7
      6 months agoReport

      Pretty vivid, but nobody can be 'immersed' in chains.

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  • Marli
    Lv 7
    6 months ago

    Midgets are humans too. They are "little people".

    The coffle [that's what a line of chained prisoners is called]

    The prisoners, fettered and chained in a line at the necks, wrists and ankles, dragged a cartload of children along the street. Midgets seated on their shoulders whipped and spurred them when they flagged.

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  • 6 months ago

    A sentence must meet the Law of writing and this one does not is why you see it needs to be rewritten with Law of Writing in mind …The Law of Writing is that each sentence, chapter and whole Novel must have..."A start, a middle and a ending"...….I would make this sentence into a chapter by given it a good vison for the reader....It can build in your story a good reason for revenge..

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