What is the chance for this man to get his kids back?

This happens to a family member who confided in me.

My cousin lost his wife in an accident when she was abroad. He felt terribly guilty, because he was supposed to go with her, but cancelled due to work. They had twin toddlers, but he was so depressed that he could not care for them, and let his parents-in-law take the kids in, although he had never got along well with the in-laws.

To make a long story short, what was originally supposed to be a temporary arrangement has developed into a permanent thing (2 years), and the parents-in-law are reluctant to let the kids live with him. He never feels welcomed while visiting. Last Christmas, the parents-in-law whisked the children away for an extended holiday without telling him.

The thoughts of taking this to court exhausts my cousin, and he thinks he will lose anyway because, although he's working, has a good income and his own place, he's still on anti-depressant and prone to a mental breakdown. Sometimes he feels inadequate to care for the kids, and feels that they're better off with the grandparents. However, being deprived of his children is also not doing him any good. The only member of his wife's family who has warmed up to him is the wife's twin brother, but even he thinks to let things as they are for the moment.

I'm not sure what advise I should give him. Should he take this to court? Is there a big chance that he'd lose? I feel like he's missing his own kid's childhood, and that the in-laws are behaving very badly!

6 Answers

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  • 6 months ago
    Favorite Answer

    Shared custody.

    Then, if he finds he can be a good father to the children, he can go for full custody.

    As long as he is being treated for any problems he has, then doctor reports can prove he is fit to be a father to the children. However, he has to WANT it and be committed to it so he can fight for it, should that be the case.

    The problem is the back and forth of shuffling the children (not through visitation, but permanent arrangements), as stability is what the kids need.

    They lost their mom and then, seemingly, their dad. This is horrible for the children. So, until and unless he can be a good dad, he should not even bother. Those children need stability and consistency in their lives. They have been through and lose enough already.

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  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    6 months ago

    he just needs to try it and see and then he'll know

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  • 6 months ago

    Since there is no court order, he can just take the kids and leave. They are his kids.

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  • 6 months ago

    Poor iddy widdy depressed cousin. If he's so sad and so depressed and feels so bad that he can't drag himself to court then he has two choices: 1) grow a thicker skin; or 2) give up. Wow. I am so very, very, very, very, very sorry.

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  • .
    Lv 7
    6 months ago

    Your cousin needs to seek the advice of a family law attorney who can review his case and advise him of his options.

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  • 6 months ago

    he needs to talk to a lawyer and see and then he'll know

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