What do I do about my twin brother?
He's autistic, has ptsd and lives with me and my fiance. Basically he has these bouts where he threatens my fiance and himself so a month ago we sought out a facility to put him into voluntarily. He went for three weeks but it's been extremely difficult for me to care for him. I moved out of my guirdians home to get a place with him since he was being kicked out of his home. We were both 18 now we're 20 but I have my own issues to deal with and it's becoming way too much. I'm not sure what to do
- 6 months ago
Sounds to me like he should not be living with anyone. If he is threatening to harm others or himself with his mental instability he needs to be in a facility where he can get the proper care he needs. Would you rather it get to the point that he actually does do bodily harm to someone and end up in prison or in a place that can help him and hopefully he will give him the right kind care and possibly be able to live a normal life one day? I personally think you are doing both of you an injustice if you don't.
- OcimomLv 76 months ago
You are not responsible for your bother if you are over 18 yrs old. If your parents are deceased and there is no other guardian, then you need to just put him in a facility and let the state disability handle things.
- AnnLv 76 months ago
I'm assuming your parents aren't involved with either of you, since you mentioned you had a guardian. You need to contact Social Security Services, and explain the situation. Even though you love your brother and feel obligated to see after him, you're not the one to be burdened with this. He needs to be in a facility that can meet his needs. He may object, but it would be in everyone's best interest.Source(s): licensed specialist in school psychology
- Alan HLv 76 months ago
You do not have the expertise to deal with that.
Get professional advice
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- Common SenseLv 76 months ago
See if there is a home where he can live with others with the same needs as he has.
I know your loyalties and your love for him are strong and that is perfectly understandable. But there comes a time when self preservation needs to prevail. Your brother needs special care and help that you just do not have the training or the finances to handle. It is not fair to you to be responsible for him because you do not have the resources to care for an Autistic individual.
Of course you do not love him any less to consider getting him placed in a facility that can actually help him in his journey of life. You are not selfish to want a life for yourself without having to care for another person. Situate your life so that you can still be in close proximity of your brother so you can see him as much as you would like to. Do not feel guilty that due to his special needs, he will do better with professional care. You would not be abandoning him, you would be doing him a huge favor. Yes, it will be very difficult at first, but in your heart, you must know that getting him professional around the clock care is the best thing for him and also for you.
I bet you have sleepless nights worrying about your brother. I can understand that any choice to let him out of your care is agony on your mind and heart. I get it. But, this really is not about you, it is about your brother and what he NEEDS. You will not be abandoning him, you will be doing him a huge favor and an incredible act of love, so he can be the best he can be in a place that qualifies to care for his special needs.
You CAN have the best of both worlds, you know. You can have your relationship with your fiancée and move on to get married and have children if you wish. All the while, during a time when your brother is getting the proper attention and care that he requires. It is the answer to your worries.
Taking the first step is to learn about what services are available to your brother. Please educate yourself and do some research about the benefits that are available through government programs for autistic people who need help. Only 17% of autistic children grow up to be independent. With those low odds of being an autistic independent person, of course there is help available. So, look for it, learn about it and THEN make a choice to try it. By getting help for your brother is the biggest dose of love you can give him.
- 6 months ago
You eventually will be forced to choose between caring for your brother for the rest of his life or choosing to get married. Need to start thinking which life you want.
- FoofaLv 76 months ago
He likely has a case worker you could discuss this with. This would be the person to help you find a facility he likes well enough to stay in. It's probably not tenable for you to think you can have him at home with you forever.
- Pearl LLv 76 months ago
i would put him back in the facility if hes going to be like that, im a twin myself
- 6 months ago
Put him in facility..he can get proper care there
- 6 months ago
Get him on disability. Can’t your parents help with your brother?