Should I adopt my children's sibling when I'm struggling with the ones I currently have?

I have three children under the age of three. I have adopted the two older ones and am in the process of adopting the third, who is almost six months old now. I love all of them and really do want to adopt the third child. My only hesitation is that it has been hard these last six months. My oldest who just turned three is very challenging. She is very defiant and throws many tantrums throughout the day especially in public. I keep telling myself that this is just the terrible twos or the terrible threes that she is behaving this way but a part of me worries what if this isn't just the terrible threes and she is going to be a very difficult child to raise. she tested positive for drugs when she was 18 months old, all the children have been exposed to drugs and abuse by their bio parents. It's hard to give the baby the attention I wish I could because I spent every minute of the day chasing after the 18 month old to prevent him from getting hurt, he's in a climbing stage and my three year old is so challenging with her defiance and tantrums. I do have hope that this is just a hard stage of life and that as they get older things will get easier and it won't always be so intense. I do love them all as though they were my own. I would appreciate any insight you have to offer about the future.


I am a single parent.

Update 2:

they are all full siblings

4 Answers

  • Anonymous
    12 months ago
    Favourite answer

    I think you should. They are siblings. I don't ever want to separate them. I know that parenting is very hard. Since you have a lot of responsibilities. You are also a single parent. Which makes it a lot more harder. But if you think you can handle another child without any financial problems and any other serious problems, then maybe you should adopt the third. But if you don't, you ca just check up on him/her once and a while and see what family they end up with. But this is YOUR choice. NOT MINE. If you do adopt the third child, good luck. Those three need ALL of the love they can get.

  • 11 months ago

    I suggest you talk to the social worker in charge of the adoption.

  • 11 months ago

    While I believe siblings should stay together if possible, you also have to know your limits, and be fair to the children you have.

    If you decide you cannot raise the baby, do whatever you can to stay in contact with that child's parents.

    Edited to add: another factor is if you believe this is the last child this mother will have, or might you end up a year or so down the road with another decision to make about another sibling?

    Source(s): Adoptee and Adoptive Mom.
  • 12 months ago

    No one has any idea what the future might hold. I am a strong believer in nature over nurture, and believe the genetics they inherited from their parents will be a HUGE factor.

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