How to stop depression from ruining my relationship?
We have been together for 2 years now but my depression has significantly impacted our relationship. I am seeing a counsellor and have been for a few months now but there has been little improvement. I also suffer from chronic illness and am waiting a diagnosis so am frequently feeling low with pain and fatigue.
He has always been quite supportive but in the past some things he has lied to me about which has quite affected me and since then i have had some trust issues. But our relationship improved until my health got worse and i starts feeling low and depressed everyday and all day. I have self harmed before but i dont anymore. He tries to be there for me when i feel low but i know its a lot for him so i avoid becoming dependent on him. But when i feel low i tend to feel anxious and insecure, which in turn affects our relationship. No matter how much i try when i feel really low its hard to fight down the doubts in my mind. When i dont trust him he gets angry which i understand and then he avoids talking to me. This then spirals into arguments in which i end up saying stuff i dont mean.
I love him and he loves me but i hate myself for how much my issues with myself have come in-between us, I am so lucky and grateful for him but i am starting to feel like i can never get better and i want him to be happy so maybe he needs to move on.
- 6 months ago
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- Anonymous6 months ago
Go to a naturopathic doctor. CBT psychotherapists Rarely help anybody. If you go to a naturopath, even if you have to pay for it out of pocket, they can often find the underlying reasons for depression which Mainstream medical doctors, psychiatrists and psychotherapist won’t. For example, it’s known that thyroid problems can cause depression, anxiety, even bipolar disorder etc. But no psychotherapist is skilled enough to know any of that and they’re not trained in such matters. So none of them are going to tell you about that. Just do your own research into naturopathic doctors and try to find one who is decent in your area. And see what they say. And whatever you do don’t take psych drugs. They have the potential to destroy your life. They did mine. Beware...
- pattyLv 66 months ago
That's is good he is still around. Are you on antidepressants? Exercise eg walking is good for your health and mental health. maybe do 1/2 or more a day. Do you eat healthily? Plenty of fruit and vegetables and protein. Maybe get an interest eg photography to get your mind off your problems.
- justinLv 66 months ago
I care. im sorry... God is testing you to care. to want the best for everyones soul love god and love good peopel when its hard. If I cna help send me a mesage my kik is gerberstuffbabies my email firstname.lastname@example.org or usa my text now number is 717 516 0310 and my facebook is camaro elfyboy with a pink sword art online anime picture. Depresion is a disease and u must fight back. I've been thru this, know many friends who are working thru it with my help. u must see thru this illusion . If I didn't care I wouldnt bother replying . Therfore I do care . Therfore i want u to reply. For me accepting that god loves me and wants the best for me and pushing away/blocking negative thoughts and feelings helps alot. Create a rubber band like forcefield within the center of ur mind and use it to push slowly but forcefully all the negativity out of ur mind. Pull urself within this rubber band force field and use it to create some space inside that u can have hope and faith that god will make right all wrongs if u can. Another trick is to put things in perspective. To see the world and ur life as a short temporary schooling for ur soul where u whould try to learn what u cna when u are here cause afterwards is an eternity of perfect bliss and good things. if u cna do it right it often will make u feel ur negativity melt away. All pain and suffering will be reimbursed he told me and it will not be a 1 to 1 ratio but 100 to 1. some pain types differ like oppression which is even more so. So do not allow the sadness to win.
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- Care411Lv 66 months ago
Hi, I work with woman is prisons and shelters who have CPTSD/PTSD, MDD & BPD.
It's not your fault you have depression, anxitey or other things is it? Did you wake up one day and ask for it? He is not the 'sick' or hurt one is he? When you argue does he call you obscene names, blame you, try to make you feel guilty attack you personally (clothes, body type or personality)? Does he tell you to leave you wont find anyone or call you nuts crazy? If not great! If so you have a lot of things going but tell us enough to help.
Look her your man. His job is to respect, validate, listen, make you feel wanted/ needed. Hes doing the opposite wt the worst possible times plus he is lying to you about things. Does he 'deflect alot' call you a liar and cheater. You really did not give enough details but hes the problem not you.
- d jLv 56 months ago
You're the one who's just receiving kindness, affection, time and resources of others.
You're not giving back anything. Forget about how much or how many times your bf lies to you. Focus on how many times he's been loving and kind to you or he's been there for you.
Every one feels emotional once in a while. Everyone needs affection and empathy.
If in the relationship with you, he's gonna feel like he's walking on eggshells most of the time, then he's surely going to lie here and there to avoid making you upset.
You need to be understanding. Think often about needs of others. Your depression will heal eventually.
- Anonymous6 months ago
There are only three negative emotions - anger, fear and sadness - and variations of them.
Because we are trained to hide our weaknesses and show our strengths, people use anger as their 'go-to' emotion when they are (in reality) hurting.
The advertising industry programmed us to think we don't have enough. It sells their products and drives the economy. They want you to think you're not good enough. Not cooool enough.
They made you insecure.
'THINK AHEAD' they told you as a child... but think about what? You control nothing. Thinking ahead inspires fear of what's coming - which is anxiety.
Feel sorry for yourself, cuz no one else will?
That hook will drag you into a deep deep pit of depression. Sadness created by crippling self-concern. Helping others gets your mind off of you and the inevitable morbid self obsession.
Anger becomes a 'go-to' emotion - they can't deal with people and don't want to show them the are sad, lonely and hurt.
Let it go people. Anger is NOT a god... it is not protecting you... it is destroying you... ruining your life.
Forgive. Most things can be brushed off. For deep betrayal, or wilful wrongs against you... forgive them because you need forgiveness too....
And if you don't forgive, God will not forgive you.
All these things are lessons that Jesus taught me... just a few of countless lessons on my journey with him. Make him the Lord of your life: make him your bomb shelter; he will protect you and set you free. He is the way and the truth and the life, and you will finally enjoy yours and be a blessing to others if you humble yourself and seek mercy from him.
God bless you on your journey.
PS: REJECT all negative diagnosis.... the power of life and death are in the tongue.... these well-meaning doctors have been cursing you... and you believed what they said: and so it came to pass.
- Anonymous6 months ago
Pray and trust in Christ, I had clinical depression and PTSD since I was 13. I was a "Christain" since 8 years old but really gave my life to Christ at 22 years old. I'm now 24 and I do not have depression anymore. Even when I get sad or stressed I don't get depressed. I don't stay upset longer than 20 mins. All I do is read my Bible and pray.
- foxprojoyLv 66 months ago
The first step is to talk to your counselor about TCS (trans-cranial stimulation). This is type of depression cure that is very successful. If your counselor does not know what this is, you may be going to the wrong counselor. Also, follow-up with a good medication -- some nurse practitioners can prescribe psychotropic meds. While you are taking the very best care of yourself as possible, talk about this with your significant other and make sure they are supporting you through each step. Explain that you are investing in yourself so you can be a better partner.