Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 6 months ago

I said my mother was a racist. She angrily denied it. Should I apologize to my mother?

I was born and raised in an all white community. Unfortunately, many of the people who live here are racist to some degree. A new family just moved into town, and they are not white. The family has been subjected to some pretty nasty remarks and behavior from the locals. I told my mother that I was outraged and ashamed of the community. My mother said, "I agree that people shouldn't bother them, but they knew when they moved here that this was an all white community, and that it was probably inevitable that this would happen, so it's hard for me to feel sorry for them. They knew it would cause trouble if they moved here." I told my mother that her ridiculous mentality was exactly the same as the other people who had been harassing the new family, and that it was the attitudes of people like her that perpetuate the endless cycle of hatred and racism. Mom got pretty upset and denied being a racist. I told her that what she was doing was worse, because she was sympathetic and tolerant to the deplorable, racist behavior in the community. She is my mom, and I love her, so I hate having such heated disagreements with her. I usually just apologize, and move past it, but I just don't think I can apologize or take the blame for this one, because everything she said goes against my conscience and morals, and I also feel I have to set an example for my children. Any advice on how to make peace with my mother without compromising my morals?


Bozo- ALL white people have a certain level of privilege that comes from solely being white, myself included. Wrong as it may be, it is still a fact. No argument there. I am not denying my white privilege. If you are white, you are also white privileged. EVERY white person is privileged. Again, not saying it is right, but it is still true. Not really sure what your point is there. I will never deny that white privilege exists.

Update 2:

Bozo- As far as my "assumptions" that most of the people in my community are racist and deplorable, that is not a prejudicial point of view, that is a FACT. It is a relatively small community where everyone pretty much knows everyone, and when every other word out of their mouths is the "n" word, it is a pretty safe assumption. You really have no idea what you are talking about, especially as it relates to my community and their view points. But no matter, keep living in ignorant bliss!

5 Answers

  • Kyle
    Lv 7
    6 months ago
    Favorite Answer

    she expected something might happen because of the color of their skin. she said they should know what they were getting into because of the color of their skin and where they were moving too.

    you're right. she's wrong. but she's not changing her mind. you can try to make a difference by greeting your new neighbors and get to know them. then offer to go out to dinner or lunch with them. invite your other friends in the neighborhood if you have any. maybe they will see not everyone is a bad person that is not white. it will take time, but it can happen.

    • No Bozos
      Lv 7
      6 months agoReport

      How did you glean this drivel from what this girl said? You have no idea about any of the assumptions you just made.

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  • 6 months ago

    i would just stop talking about stuff like that with her

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  • Anonymous
    6 months ago

    I'd be very careful about getting down from my high horse. You could be seriously injured.

    You sound privilege and entitled - for no apparent reason.

    But thanks for the glimpse into your daily life and your lack of respect to your mother.

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  • 6 months ago

    A racist is someone who uses their position to oppress a group of people from another race. Since your mother has no power to do that what-so-ever, you are wrong in your assertion. What she is is prejudice. I say that because EVERYONE IS PREJUDICE.

    Should you apologize to you mother? Yes. Because you are an ungrateful piss-ant who should know better than to talk to your mother that way. A RESPECTFUL person wouldn't do such a thing.

    One more thing. Your assertion that you live in a "deplorable, racist behavior in the community" shows how prejudiced your own thinking is. Making assumption about people YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW is the same as thinking bad about a person of another race.

    Check YOUR OWN white privilege, moron.

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  • 6 months ago

    Ask yourself, "Will being angry with her make her change?" Agree to disagree with each other's viewpoints and love the good in your mother. Maybe show her how you'd like her to be by being that way yourself.

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