Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 5 months ago

Are there other ways to deal with people who constantly complains?

Almost everyone I know complains constantly I know it may sound like I am now but I’m asking for help because I am ready to snap at all of them and one of them is my mom. They will complain about the smallest things I spent less time with my mom but it doesn’t help because we take the dog for a walk she complains I go out to the kitchen to get food she complains it’s always about something. When I spend less time with her I noticed that she will use one of the neighbors her friend to vent to yet I caught my mom complaining about them. I ignore most of it but it doesn’t make her reduce the complaining I also have a friend I talk to time to time they are the same way. I will be honest I used to complain with my mom sometimes but I noticed how draining it was so I stopped so maybe that’s why it’s making me wanting to snap so badly and maybe it’s driving her a bit crazy I don’t really anymore.

5 Answers

Relevance
  • 5 months ago

    My mother is like that; non-stop complaining and nagging. Since there's not changing her, the only thing I can do is to try to control my environment and limit contact with her. I moved out at 17, almost 30 years ago, which made it ieasier, if you're still at home, my suggestion is to limit the time you spend at home, spend more time in your room etc.

    Also try some basic "dog training", as in rewarding desired behaviour and ignoring undesired behaviour. (This worked for me with my father /unfortunately not with my mother). He doesn't complain, but he has a terrible temper that he used to take out on me and my mother. He has learned to control it around me, though, because I simply got up and left every time he as much as started snarling. When he's nice and pleasant, I'll stick around.

    • Log in to reply to the answers
  • 5 months ago

    Yes. That's why people study in libraries instead of home. Get so involved and busy that you don't have to spend more than the minimal amount of time at home. Get a part time job. join a special interest group or sport after school. Volunteer. And as soon as you become old enough, its either off to college, your own place with a job, the military or whatever you come up with to get out of a toxic environment. Good wishes,

    • Log in to reply to the answers
  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    5 months ago

    i would just be thankful you still have your mom around, wish i did

    • Log in to reply to the answers
  • 5 months ago

    All you have to do is interrupt them when they start with their complaints. And just say, lets talk about...(and you start talking about something positive that you want to to discuss). If they don't pick up your hint, just smile and say you don't want to hear about that anymore. It may come off as rude at first, but eventually as you do it they will stop. If many people do this to you, then you may be more compliant about listening than most other people so they dump on you.

    • Log in to reply to the answers
  • What do you think of the answers? You can sign in to give your opinion on the answer.
  • 5 months ago

    Know that it’s often a habit people are often unaware of how often they’re doing it. You could tell these “awfulizers” that you prefer keeping conversations light and positive as you feel it upsets you. Another option would be for you to try extending yourself in conversations where you introduce positivity into your speech. Ie., when your mother speaks poorly about her neighbor, add that “she may annoy you, but she’s ____ (hard working, kind, loyal, etc. ) and ppl will get the message that you’re a positive person who they can’t engage in that type of banter with.

    • Log in to reply to the answers
Still have questions? Get answers by asking now.