Was I treating my husband like a child?

My husband seems to think I enjoy treating him like a child. I'll come home from work and he won't be there so I'll call or text him asking his whereabouts. He gets mad. Even anytime he leaves the room I'll ask him casually where he's going. He'll usually give me some smart *** remark like, "mommy, I'll be right back." Well, yesterday my 24 year old son who lives with us told me that he had a seizure some time in his sleep and neither my husband or I heard him so I rushed home straight from work to check on him. By the time my husband got home my son was resting well. Since I hadn't gone to the gym yet I left to go workout and my husband was in the kitchen fixing dinner. I came home about an hour later and my husband was gone. Food still prepped on the counter and lights still on in the kitchen. I text him asking where he was and his reply was, "I went to go pick up my daughter from work, Mommy." My husband is 50 and feels that I treat him like a child. He says that he doesn't always need to announce where he's going if he's only going to be a few minutes. I guess my concern was that my son was in his room and what if he had another seizure while my husband was out? My husband made the comment when he came home saying, "so I can't go pick my daughter up from work because I'm watching your son so you can go to the gym? She's gotta sit outside her job waiting on you to come home from working out to release me of my duties?" Was I treating him like a child?

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  • 6 months ago

    Well, I think it is common courtesy to know when your husband is coming and going.

    What if you needed something at the store that he could have easily picked up? That would have been a missed opportunity.

    Asking him where he is going when he gets up to go into another room is ridiculous.

    You two seem to be having a communication problem. Rather than ask him where he is going or has been, why not change things up and communicate differently? How about "I am going to the gym, please keep an eye on (son's name here). If he would have said he had to go out and pick up his daughter, then that would have been a good time for you to say you would skip the gym to be with your son.

    See, all you have to do is communicate. Knowing that when you ask him where he is going or where he has been makes him feel like you are mothering him, then you should stop that.

    Perhaps if you two cannot talk, you should have a note pad in a handy spot so you both can leave notes about when you will be home or will be going out.

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  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    6 months ago

    Your concern SHOULD be your son. If he's having active seizures he should probably be in the hospital and your petulant husband's idiocy should be on the back burner. These kids seem to be living in romper room with you two adults acting like idiots. Next time hubs calls you "Mommy" feel free to tell him to eff right off because you've got a kid in medical crisis to deal with.

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  • 6 months ago

    Of course we can all understand that it would have been better if he had stayed at home when your son had had a seizure.

    But that was ONE incident. It was important, but the other ones weren't. Why ask someone where they're going when they casually go out of the room at home? There's not a lot of scope, is there?

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  • Anonymous
    6 months ago

    Is seems to me that you have a trust issue with your husband. Also appears that you suffer from jealousy..

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  • Sally
    Lv 5
    6 months ago

    your husband should divorce you

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  • 6 months ago

    No not really just tell him you love him too

    • Tony6 months agoReport

      I fully understader where he coming from maybe he don't not want be with you if keep on his back all the time, well he marry you for his reason then he coming to you

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  • Anonymous
    6 months ago

    He is cheating on you if not now he will if you keep this up.

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  • Anonymous
    6 months ago

    I’m sure there are two sides to this... But by the little bit you described, I would say you sound annoying. For example, you don’t need to ask him where he is going just if he is just leaving the room... In saying that, your husband sounds like a big baby in the way he reacts... so to sum up, I wouldn’t like to be married to either of you.

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  • 6 months ago

    Yes, you seem to have an issue with control, based more on having a 24 yr old adult living with you, and babysitting him, than wondering about your husband’s whereabouts even when he’s within earshot. While your son’s recent claim of a seizure during his sleep (if he was sleeping, how did he determine this?) could be serious, it seems you’d only find another issue to tend to regardless. It could be anxiety you’re dealing with, and you may want to see a physician when you take your son.

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  • Anonymous
    6 months ago

    There is a motive behind every question.

    Your motive for being here is to find someone who will agree with your behavior.

    You haven't been listening to your husdand....

    You are getting on his nerves...

    If I give you a job to do and stand over you and watch you... what does that say about the relationship? It means I don't trust you.

    Without trust, there is no relationship.

    You don't trust your husband, and he hates that you don't trust and respect him.

    Your issues go too deep to be solved in a couple of sentences. There is help here: 1-800 A FAMILY

    Call them... it's free.

    They are trained councelors that will teach you how to have the marriage you always wanted.

    • i + i
      Lv 7
      6 months agoReport

      All good advice, up to the point
      that you recommended calling a
      cult in order to get marriage advice.

      https://rationalwiki.org/wiki/Focus_on_the_Family

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