Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 6 months ago

In love with my bf but how do I leave this abuser?

I knew from the beginning my boyfriend wasn’t a “nice guy..” he was a blunt kinda rude guy to others but he was always sweet to me. Last week he got really drunk with me for the first time. I’ve seen him drunk but never like white girl wasted.

After the party he hit me while we were arguing. I thought it probably because I was saying some hurtful things and he was already white girl wasted. I’m a bartender so I know the affects of alcohol, especially when it’s mixed with other stuff like he did.

Now last night he was drunk again but not that drunk and began saying some rude stuff. I ignored it and went to bed. Few moments later he followed me to bed. He tried to have sex with me but I kept refusing. He then started getting rough, picking me up and threatening to slap me or hurt my arm. He kept doing it but managed to wait till he got tired and ran immediately to the bathroom downstairs. I waited 30 min and then I went to sleep on the couch. I’m current about 6 weeks pregnant and he knows.

He already has two kids with someone else and I know he will never just leave me alone especially with his kid.

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  • 6 months ago
    Favorite Answer

    Getting you pregnant was his way of ensuring he will always be able to keep you in his life. Even if you break up with him, he just sues for visitation rights. He will be coming round for the next 18 years purportedly to see his child, but also to keep you in line and scare away any new guy in your life. So now that he's got you pregnant the beatings can begin.

    Family courts will grant visitation rights to the most abusive of men. Women have been forced to co-parent with the same guy who once beat her to a pulp. You won't be able to deny him his visitation like you could with a genuinely nice guy; he'll turn up banging on the door to see his child.

    Unfortunately the beatings are just going to get worse. Having him charged with assault may give you a temporary reprieve while he's in prison, but he won't be sentenced to 18 years in prison unless, so you know he'll eventually be back. You just have to hope you'll survive until your child becomes an adult.

    However you're pregnant and you're going to have his baby, and there's nothing you can do about it. I'm so sorry you're in this predicament.

    Maybe in the near future the legislature and the judiciary will realise that abusive husbands do not make good fathers. Ideally a guy who has beaten up his ex- should be presumed not to be a good father. If the law changes then it may be possible to cut him out of your life a little bit sooner.

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  • 6 months ago

    Just leave before it gets any worse. You have to think about the baby now. Leave and go somewhere where he can t find you and take the proper steps to insure you and your baby s safety. Restraining order might help but you have to be the one to make the decisions. It s not going to do any good if you keep going back. If this has been going on for a while then chances are he won t change but if this just started than maybe he will stop if given an ultimatum. Be safe always.

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  • 6 months ago

    Oh he sounds like a great guy (choke).

    WTH are you with this idiot for?

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  • Anonymous
    6 months ago

    leave him, it's easy

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  • 6 months ago

    wow. I don't know what to actually say. You KNEW this was trouble and yet you dated him and let him knock you up.

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  • Anonymous
    6 months ago

    If you need help getting out, please call the National Domestic Abuse Hotline: 1-800-799-7233.

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  • Brian
    Lv 7
    6 months ago

    Leave him while you still can. You'll be fine and you'll be in better shape on top of it physically and emotionally. He's made a choice in life to take substances over humans - never a good choice. Unfortunately you can't help him, he's got to do this on his own and now he doesn't seem to want help.

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  • Iam
    Lv 6
    6 months ago

    This is abuse and attempted rape. There is NEVER an excuse and you are kidding yourself if you think he will be a "dad".

    Leave now and consider pressing charges.

    BTW "white girl wasted"?

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  • Anonymous
    6 months ago

    You can't. He will eventually kill you.

    You need to turn gay NOW

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