Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsOther - Family & Relationships · 12 months ago

How can I start to be a more approachable and less shy person?

I suffer from social anxiety and I have trouble approaching people. I do talk to people and respond back when you talk to me but I’m sort of shy at first. For all honesty I’m not a very friendly person and not the type to introduce myself easily. I usually wait for people to talk to me first. If I do talk to you before introducing myself I usually would say like “ hi is this math question right? ”That’s my way of talking to people for the first time. Please help me and give me some tips on how to make friends properly and be more approachable towards people I’m starting high school in less than a month so I need help now!!

Thank you.

2 Answers

  • I have severe anxiety and depression, so I can relate to what you’re saying a lot. One thing I’ve learn, that I wish I knew when I was in school, is not setting expectations too high.

    Don’t go in and expect make lots of new friends or pop un-shy. Take your time and don’t add to the pressures. Going into high school there’s already enough to worry about.

    James 3:2 says “For we all stumble many times. If anyone does not stumble in a world, he is a perfect man, able to bridle also whole body.”

    Don’t over think things, know that you’ll mess up your words and that’s okay, everyone does. What I’ve learned is fixating on one or two potential people. Maybe someone quiet like yourself. Look for smaller group settings like clubs, that way you’ll automatically have something in common with them and time will eventually bring you to talk more on different subjects.

  • 12 months ago

    You can never go wrong with a smile - even if you don't feel like smiling. The maths question sounds fine. Do it with a big smile and loads of thanks after you get the answer. Questions are good because people like to show their knowledge or talk about themselves. 'Hi, I'm new here. Can you tell me where the best X is?' You are definitely on the right track. Smile and LOOK friendly. It's attractive to be up-beat even if you don't feel particularly up-beat. Once the convo gets going you don't have to do that much to keep it going. Just relax into it. There's nothing worse than someone who is very hard-going. They sit miserably with a cloud over their heads and you try and talk to them and all you get is a mopey Yes or No. One word answerers usually end up on their own. Jolly, laughy, smiley ones gather followers. At high school, admit you are new, admit you don't know stuff and smilingly ask for help. You'll end up most popular student I guarantee. Good luck

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