Guy at work is asking my co-worker if I have a boyfriend?
I'm not interested and I keep my private life outside. I don't want him to keep asking my co-worker about me.
I'm 28 years older than him too. My co-worker said to me last week, "He really likes you. He likes older women and he told me he doesn't know whether to ask you out in front of everyone in the office or when you're alone".
Well, I'd no idea I was being discussed behind my back and I don't like it. Am I over-reacting or am I justified how I feel? I'm at a loss what to do as nothing has to been said to my face. I'm there to work.
- Anonymous11 months agoFavourite answer
Are your coworkers 12 or 13 year old boys, by any chance? They sure sound like it. You are old enough to be this kid's momma, so if this silly stuff is really going on, tell the mouth piece to run along, & to take his little friend with him. Then get back to work.
- Anonymous11 months ago
Anyone who's ever had a job has been talked about at work. You can't be there all the time and in every room to stop it. And HR isn't going to do anything unless he harasses you directly.
- susanLv 711 months ago
First of all, you don't know whether that conversation actually happened between your two coworkers. Keep that in mind, when you decide how to react.
If the one who already talks to you brings this up again, you could say, "Let's only talk about work related things. I would appreciate it if you don't talk about my private life to me or to anybody else." And then refuse to discuss any of it with him again. You could also say this to him the next time you see him, without waiting for him to bring it up again.
If the other fellow actually approaches you and asks you out, you could say, "Sorry, not interested." You could also tell him then that you keep your private life separate from your work life.
These guys sound like they have too much free time at work. If you stay busy with your actual job, I think you'll be all right.
- bluebellbkkLv 711 months ago
I don't quite see what the problem is. This guy who wants to know if you have a boyfriend isn't bothering YOU, is he? And if he ever does come and ask you out, all you have to do is say, 'Thanks but I'm not interested'.
You can't stop the two of them talking about you, nor should you try. But you can certainly tell the 'in-between' guy to stop telling you about their conversations, and simply walk away if he keeps talking.
This is SO not an issue worth 'reporting' to anybody. You're an adult woman: handle it yourself. You said yourself that you're there to work: so get on with your work and let your colleagues waste their own time if they want.
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- PearlLv 711 months ago
just tell him youre not interested
- de ChicagoLv 711 months ago
I don’t feel that you are over reacting. They are being unprofessional. Tell him you are there to work not discuss your life and that if he continues to say things like this you will notify your supervisor and HR to set up a meeting to discuss. Then follow through.
- 11 months ago
Ask your coworker to have a chat with you and the supervisor. If it's serious, it will be resolved. If coworker demurrs, then you know it's bs.
- PAMELALv 711 months ago
So go up to him and tell him that you are not interested him in any way and to stop talking about you!
- HelenLv 711 months ago
Of course you're not wrong to be annoyed - it's extremely unprofessional. Be kind about it, but you need to let him know you're not interested. If he continues, go to HR.
- EvaLv 511 months ago
Your co-worker needs to shut him down and not discuss anything about you with him. Should he approach you directly, you can tell him you're not interested and that his attention makes you uncomfortable. If he doesn't take the hint, report him to your supervisor.