cat
Lv 7
cat asked in Family & RelationshipsWeddings · 5 months ago

I'm meeting my boyfriend's entire family at his sister's wedding next month and I'm SO nervous. Help!?

Hello! My boyfriend and I have known each other for a few years but just started dating back in March. We are in our late twenties. His family is from North Carolina and we live in Connecticut so I haven't met any of his family yet. Next month his older sister is getting married in North Carolina and even though my boyfriend is actually officiating the wedding, his sister told him that I'm invited to come as well. At first he said it may not be a good idea to bring me down and meet the whole family all at once at his sister's wedding and I respected that. Then his sister apparently reached out again to invite me again so I told him I'd love to go but still respect his opinion and decision whether or not to take me. He said if I'm comfortable then he'd like to bring me too.

I really am excited to meet his family because I'm very serious about him but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't nervous too! I can be shy and a little awkward at first but I also love meeting new people and I really want to make a good first impression.

I'll be staying at his parents' house with him for 2 nights, going to the rehearsal dinner the night before, and will be sitting by myself for the ceremony since he's officiating it. Any tips and advice on how to feel comfortable and make a great impression would be welcomed! Thank you! :)

Update:

Also separate question, should I include money in a card I bring for the couple in this case? I clearly haven't attended many weddings. :)

Update 2:

Wow, thank you all so much for your helpful advice and words of encouragement! Definitely feeling less nervous already!

11 Answers

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  • 5 months ago
    Best answer

    Believe it or not, I think this is an ideal setting to meet a family! Leading up to the wedding, there is so much excitement, distractions, last minute stuff, etc that you aren't under the microscope the way you would be otherwise. This makes everything so easy. You won't feel like you have to bend over backwards to make a good impression when a simple "Can I help"? will do the trick.

    So don't stress out over making that 1st impression, because it will come naturally and for most of it, the attention will be on the bride & groom anyway. Ask people questions about themselves. Everyone loves it when someone shows interest.

    The ceremony thing is a common fear, because a lot of times, the girlfriend of a groomsman has to do this same thing. But honestly, it's not a biggie. For one thing, by then they'll know you better and someone might save the seat beside or behind them. Even if not, nobody will be paying any attention to where you sit (except your bf!). At a wedding, everything is about the bride and groom.

  • Jon
    Lv 6
    4 months ago

    It wasn't that many generations ago that people met their boyfriend/girlfriend through their connections with that person's family. You may not have met your boyfriend that way, but you can still think of his family as people whom you might well have met in other circumstances, and therefore don't need to impress any more than you need to impress anyone else.

  • 5 months ago

    Relax. There will be a lot going on and the bride will be the center of attention at all the events of the weekend. Stay in the background. Be helpful. Be friendly. Be gracious. No need to be self-conscious, all eyes will be on the bride. You'll be fine.

  • Ocimom
    Lv 7
    5 months ago

    Be yourself. Mind your manners and have a good time. Don't drink too much if you want to make a good impression on the family. Yes money or a gift card would be fine to put in a card for the couple.

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  • 5 months ago

    Because you will be staying at his family's house, you will be in the hub of activity with a festive atmosphere and a perfect time to get acquainted with his family prior to the wedding day. There will be so much going on, which is good, because the total focus will not be on you, it will be the wedding. A great time to get to know family, for sure!

    Like any good guest, you should bring a hostess gift. A good and welcome hostess gift is one that can be consumed. So, perhaps you can begin to gather things for a nice gourmet gift bag. Go to Home Goods or TJMaxx or Marshall's and pick up some nuts, fruit spread, gourmet crackers, muffin mix and that sort of thing. Food is a universal language and a great gift. If you want to give something they can keep, make it small, like a lovely knife to spread jam or a cute honey dispenser..something small.

    Because you are the girlfriend, you will be considered as family and I am sure they will want you to sit in close proximity to them at the ceremony. As far as the reception is concerned, it will be one big party where you will meet so many people your head will spin. So, your job is to smile and stand up straight. Easy peasy.

    I actually think this wedding and the environment surrounding the festivities is a great time for you to meet everyone. There will be a great balance of your time with them and diversions related to the wedding.

    As a house guest, offer to help set the table, and be on dish detail. Maybe they will tell you to go sit down and relax, but offering to help shows you are a team player. Make your bed, and do the typical things you normally do to keep things tidy. Keep your bathroom toiletries in your bedroom.

  • 5 months ago

    This would be the perfect opportunity to meet and greet the family, since their attention will be focused more on the wedding than on you and your boyfriend. If you stay at their home and meet them in advance, someone might sit with you at the ceremony, if you ask for this, and you wouldn't feel like a square peg in a round hole. Be warm and gracious, be friendly, express interest in them as a means of both ingratiating yourself and diverting the attention from you. People love it when you show genuine interest. You are his date, so no present would be needed. Good wishes, enjoy yourself !

  • Edna
    Lv 7
    5 months ago

    Just be yourself, while you're staying at your boyfriend's house and during the wedding ceremony. During the wedding ceremony, you won't be "sitting by yourself" -You'll be seated among the other wedding guests, on the "groom's side" of the aisle, while your boyfriend is officiating at the wedding; and I guarantee you that all of those other guests won't have a "partner" seated beside them.

    During the reception, you and your boyfriend will be table-hopping and socializing with the other reception guests. The reception is really just a big party that is thrown by the bride and groom, as a "thank you" to guests for attending their wedding. Don't worry about it; there's nothing to be "nervous" about. . Just relax and have a good time.

  • Anonymous
    5 months ago

    I want to know why your bf said no to you attending first?????

  • drip
    Lv 7
    5 months ago

    During the ceremony you will be sitting with all the guests. This is not a time to socialize so don’t worry about it.

    You are his plus one, He should get the card and you both sign your names, you talk to him about adding money in. You don’t have to, this is optional. He really should provide the gift

    Yes you will be meeting everyone and it will be a whirlwind. But realize this isn’t about you, everyone focus will be on the bride and groom and talking to family they haven’t seen in awhile.

    Just hang out out in the background. Smile. Be in a great mood. Offer your help. His parents will be in a bit of chaos at home.

    You will dong a lot of Hi Tim’s girlfriend, Sarah. So good to meet you.

  • 5 months ago

    No need for present, that's your boyfriends job.

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